Adios 2009...!

2009 was an alright year. Admittedly I'm ready for 2010. It seemed like 2009 was just kind of depressing or something. Not as much for me on a personal level but in general it just seemed like sad things happened. People died, got sick, suffered...and I realize that is just like any year but in my eyes it seemed to happen closer to me. A wonderful person lost a husband, a mom and dad a child, a best friend a grandmother. Losing my baby cousin is still so fresh to all of us. My Aunt and Uncle were in Mexico on a beach this Christmas, deservedly so, trying to forget that the holiday season was upon us. I try not to focus on the past, and the things that we cannot change, but I do have to reflect on the heavy heart that I carried for several people this year.

I am blessed too, and that is something NOT to be overlooked! My beautiful, healthy child is getting bigger, smarter, and full of more attitude every day. My husband is amazing and we are continuing working together daily to make our lives better for each other. I love my family, everyone is safe and sound in their own places in life and I love each of them so so much. Friends are amazing and I could never make it without them. I got an awesome job in a shitty economy. We have a child on the way, what more could one girl ask for? I mean, really. Blessed beyond measure.

It's important to keep it all in perspective, weigh the good with the bad, and promise yourself to cherish it. I'm looking forward to tonight, surrounding myself with best friends and good food, closing the last page of the year. We'll toast the good, and we might even flip off the bad.

Bienvenidos 2010!!!

Warm Whispers...

Awhile ago I posted about a supposed 'FORK' in the road of my life. Decisions were to be made about whether or not we would try for a second baby. Collectively we could come up with so many reasons NOT to, and so many reasons why we absolutely should.

Months passed, and I could never close the door. Even when we both agreed that we were blessed with one beautiful child and that was enough I wasn't completely at peace. My husband knew all along, he just said he wanted to wait for me to come around at my own time. He knows me a little too well.

We decided to try again, giving ourselves through Christmas. If nothing happened by then we knew that that was our sign, and I convinced myself I'd be okay with that.

We're pregnant.

Again!!!

I'm actually about 14 1/2 weeks along but have been keeping things between family and friends until I hit the 12 week mark and told my boss. Both of equal importance!

This time around is so different. I still have been barfing a bit, but not near as much as with Brooklyn. I haven't gained any weight, in fact, I've lost 5 lbs. I did do that with her too so I'm not worried about it, and trust me, I am eating. I think that because I've been there done that I am not nearly as fixated on EVERY LITTLE DETAIL or already experiencing the anxiety of having to BIRTH a child. That thought absolutley terrified me. It, physically, didn't make sense to me. Watermelon. Lemon. TERROR. My husband is blissfully happy with this 2nd pregnancy as I'm not near as much of a crazy bitch, not yet at least, and I'm not screaming at him that WE HAVE TO READ PAGE 32 in the pregnancy bible book because OMG WE'RE 14 WEEKS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!! (break down sob fest). See, the first pregnancy was definitely different.

In fact, I have to remind myself I'm pregnant most days. Chasing a 15 month old around is basically like owning exercise equipment and on top of that I keep my normal pace I always have. I get in trouble and my husband literally forces me to sit down and rest. My body feels it though, and this little baby sends me subtle reminds he/she is there. Warm Whispers to take care of him/her, slow down, stay healthy, rest, and GET READY.

We are so blessed this Christmas to be surrounded by our amazing family and friends, and to know that another little life is soon on the way. I am very thankful...

Merry Christmas! Happy Festivus! Hannukkah! Whatever it is you celebrate, CHEERS.

This definitely sucks.

Brooklyn's school handed us a letter yesterday that informed us it will be closing on:

December 23, 2009.

Next week. Next Wednesday. Done. I took her to her classroom, got back in my car and cried like a big baby. I loved her school, her teachers, the curriculum, the LOCATION. I couldn't believe it but at the end of the day it was this stupid economy's fault. Their enrollment had dropped 25% in the last year which totals about $600k in revenue over a years time. They just explained that many parents had been laid off and no longer needed to have someone look after their little ones. Sucks all the way around. But the timing, the timing REALLY sucked. And the notice? Ahem, what notice?

I suppose there was not much to be done there though. Had they given us more of an advance we would have yanked our kids out earlier and they would have gone into even more debt.

So, news broke. It sucked. I cried.

Put my big girl pants back on and realized this was a solvable problem. We got on the phone and secured a few places that had 1 or 2 openings in her age classroom and as of this morning my husband had already toured, got reviews, and wrote a registration check. Crisis averted, I suppose. The location is on his way to work, not mine, but it will only really be inconvenient when he travels. The school is very well known for having a great program put together and he seems to think that she'll do great there. Mama still needs to pay a visit just to double check but I think we got lucky. There are 150 stray kids that need a new home now and I know we got in this new school right in time.

When I first got used to the idea of Brooklyn being in someone elses care I still had crazy anxiety that it would all be okay. After a few weeks it was, and I never looked back. We're starting over again and I'm sure it will all work out just fine.

It could always be worse and I know this. I could be having to figure out how to cover the $900k that Kids R Kids is now in debt, but someone else has that worry this holiday season. And that, my friends, REALLY sucks.

...and UGLY it was.

Our Ugly Christmas party was a success. As my dear friend KQ put it on her FB status update:

"you know it was a good party when everyone needs asprin the next morning, you go home in someone else's shoes, and you are drinking out of cups that say 'happy birthday jesus'. Good times!!! XOXOXO to all the partay peeps"

Pretty much sums up the night. Everyone brought their A game of ugly Christmas attire:

The white elephant gift exhange was a success:

Cookie decorating, not so much:

It's boring to act like adults all the time, right?

Happy Birthday JESUS!!!!

It's about to get UGLY...

Our annual Christmas party is tonight, this years theme:

UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS

Really anything throwback is acceptable, bedazzled shirts, sweater vests with snowmen, a dickey like our good friend Eddy sported in Christmas vacation.

We're busy putting the finishing touches on the house, prepping the food. This years menu:

Lil smokies wrapped in bacon and topped with brown sugar
Tomato, Corn, and Avacado Salsa served with tortilla chips
French baguettes with creamy dill and cucumber spread
Pickled asparagus wrapped with chive cream cheese and proscuitto
Cheese plate w/crackers and grapes
Downeast Maine Pumpkin bread
Homeade sugar cookies

Lots and lots of alcohol.

Happy Holidays everyone, wish us luck!

Okay, so I'm not perfect.

It was my turn to pick up B yesterday from school. We love where she goes, her teachers, the facility, she comes home every week and it seems she has learned something new.

I walked into her classroom last night and her teacher was sitting there with the other kiddos, but no Brooklyn. She let me know one of the other teachers had gone home early so B was up front with Kathie (the owner) in her office to make sure the kid/teacher ratio was in tact. So, I head her way and notice that Kathie has two parents, two other kiddos, and Brooklyn all in her office. I opened the door to interupt and Brooklyn comes running towards me 'Mama, mama, mama' and she is showing me something in her hand. I look closely and she has two thumbtacks so proudly displayed in her palm. I calmly grab them from her and hand them to Kathie and give her a WTF look. You could tell she was mortified, the other parents didn't even look up and I walked out without really saying anything.

Fast forward to conversation at home with the hubster:

D: How was B's day?
H: Good, she was in Kathie's office when I went to get her, one of her teachers had to leave early.
H: When I got her...she...uh...had two thumbtacks in her hand.
D: What the f***? She had what? She could have swallowed those, what the hell are they thinking. We pay them too much money for that shit to happen...
H: And she was in a parent meeting.
H: And there were two other kids in there.
D: WHAT THE HELL. That's it, I'm saying something first thing in the morning. That's bullshit.
H: It was an honest mistake....
D: Bullshit. Unacceptable.

While I know my husband is right, for some reason last night I just didn't say anything. I walked out, she was okay, not hurt, and I do sometimes understand that these things happen. I'm all about protecting my child but I suppose I'm more forgiving when I know the situation is already diffused. But, he's right. It's unacceptable.

First thing this morning he dropped her off, went straight into Kathie's office and let her know we felt and it will never happen again. She apologized and ensured Dom that we won't ever need to worry, she was very sorry, etc...everything you'd expect to hear. I genuinely believe her, so does Dom, and everything is on track and back to normal.

I am glad my husband is the way he is. He never hesitatates to say something, in any situation, and he's very good about getting things taken care of. I sort of regret not saying something now that I look back but appreciate my the hubs picking up my slack.

Been there before or are you PERFECT? :)

Gratitude

There are a lot of things that can stop me in my tracks and me feel every bit vulnerable and emotional. There are the typical things, a song, a moment in time, a sad story, a happy story, a Folgers commercial...okay so I'm one level of stable above that - but in general you could classify me as one of those people that get moved by things.

I can be very cynical, and real too. In fact, one of my favorite past times is getting together with my close friends and just having those call it like we see it kind of conversations. Many times this may involve some serious shit talking, but hey, what are friends for.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, I took my child, loaded up the mom car and picked up the grandparents to hit up the local Chuy's parade - kids giving to kids. If you don't know what Chuy's is, look it up and figure out a way to get a hold of the jalapeno ranch. You can thank me later for changing your life. The concept is genius, it's a toy drive where kids bring a gift to the parade and fill the beds of Chevrolet trucks to the brim, for other kids.

Brooklyn is too young to get this but we headed out with our Play-doh gift in hand anyway as I wanted her to just experience the scene and see the floats. I mean we're talking Macy's parade runner up floats here -look at the enthusiasm! ;)

So the motorcycles kick it off, we're clapping, dancing, waving, and the crowd is collectively enjoying it. Kids everywhere, smiling, feeling every bit of that magic of the holidays. We were near the front of the parade and I noticed that one of the next floats in line was a group of men and women representing our troops. Suddenly it just seemed like the entire crowd shifted focus and it was no longer about the parade, the kids, the toys, but it was about stopping to honor our heroes. As they made their way down the street everyone stood up, waving, cheering, and clapping. I have no idea what came over me as this is the behavior we should see in one another but it's like I felt this wave of gratitude hit everyone at once and it completely got me. It could have turned into a big ol' sobfest, hot mess, but I held it together.

It was one of those had to be there moments, but I suppose that morning I woke up vulnerable to feel everything. It was just nice to see literally everyone on the same page for one small moment in time, appreciating, giving thanks, and feeling every bit of grateful for what these people have sacrificed. All political bullshit aside, it was about gratitude. Spend a minute today and be grateful for something.

Sdoft and Gen-dle

We had an awesome Turkey day, stuffing our face with lots of good food, compliments of some amazing chef I know. Ahem. We started the prep on Wednesday night and I had full intentions of capturing all the details a la photograph but all I got was this one:

They were damn good deviled eggs too.

The rest of the time off we spent with family, enjoying the change in the holiday season as we are now fully launched into xmas mode. All decorations are up, music is on, and we even have a print out of ABC's 25 days of Christmas because yes, we are that cool.

Brooklyn has been suprisingly good with the Christmas tree, full of bright white lights, sparkling red and silver balls, different ornaments we picked up over the last few years representing us and what we love the most. We got her a stuffed snowman with the word 'Noel' on his tummy, that's her ornament she can take on and off the tree. On and off. On and off. On and off. On and off. On and off. Exhausted yet? SHE's NOT! On and off. On and off......

Brooklyn's ornament

I decided to teach her to be soft with the tree. I took her hand and lightly rubbed her face, then mine, and whispered, soft. We then sat by the tree and did the same thing, and I said soft, gentle. Now, anytime she looks at it, or goes near it she whispers sdoft, gen-dle, and barely touches the branches or other ornaments. My husband is amazed and I tell him it's my mad parenting skills.

It's been really cold here too, which for me, adds to the whole Christmas spirit. I'm talking 40's people which for those of us in Texas is sub zero temperatures. Our "winter" coats are for style, not warmth so there are a bunch of us walking around freezing our asses off. Possible snow flurries tommorow too which if that happens will most likely mean day off at which point I promise to do the Carlton in celebration. It snowed a lot, once, when I was about 5 or 6. It was magical, and all I remember is my dad sending me flying down the neighbors driveway in a beer cooler. That experience was not sdoft, nor gen-dle, but it was fun.