For poops sake!

What? Does the title gross you out somehow? If it does than you must not keep reading. If you are brave enough to continue, welcome.

So Sunday morning rolls around in our house and it had already been quite the weekend. Not near as relaxing as I thought it would be on my drive home from work Friday. Let me set the stage for you: Dom is outside washing my car. I'm sitting on the counter in my bathroom about to dry my hair. Brooklyn is in her swing in our bathroom kicking her legs up and giggling loudly.

I looked down at my precious little spawn only to realize that something wasn't quite right. The pink & white footy pj that she had on was suddenly different colors in different areas. "Crap!" Literally. So I picked her up and as I suspected she had shit all over the place. I start to take off her pj's and realize this is not a one man job. I walk to the front door with baby in hand - holding her with arms fully extended - manage to open the door and tell Dom that I need help. I shut the door, walk back to our room and decide that the only place this can be fixed is our bathtub. So here I go to attempt to take off the pj's and I realize it has literally gone all over her legs, feet, and as I was putting her in our tub - the wall. I am leaning over the tub holding her arms waiting on Dom because it can't go any further without another set of hands and I wait...and wait...and wait...

Literally about 5 minutes go by and no sign of him so I pick B back up, at this point she's in her diaper (or what's left of it) and I go again, carrying her across our living room to the front door with arms in full extension, open the door back up and this time make it a little more clear I NEED SOME FREAKIN HELP. Dom looks up at his smiling, naked, daughter covered in poop and says "Oh shit!". I say, yes exactly.

He came to my rescue and as a team we tackled this. A nice long bath later and our baby girl was all sparkly and shiny clean. Dom had to shower also as he suffered the most during the cleaning process. As did our tub, our wall, my pj pants, and her ruined footy pj's.

I'm convinced she has done this in retaliation for the rice cereal and formula bottle I gave her early that morning. It's part of her resistance to change as she already let me know how pissed she was when we transitioned exclusively to formula.

Oh, the years to come. If you are contemplating having a baby DO IT! Don't be afraid of a shitstorm like the one my daughter managed this weekend. Embrace it and realize you can do anything.

God bless single mothers.

The tube.

Yes, I let my daughter watch TV. Yes, I encourage her. And yes, I do it regularly. It's Baby Mozart from the Baby Einstein DVD collection and I LOVE the people that made these. Nothing else captures her attention for 28 straight minutes. Do you know how much a girl can get done in 28 uninterrupted minutes? If you are one of those freaks that is protecting their child from too much television go ahead, call CPS on me. I know the difference between this 28 minute clip and 5 hours on a Saturday afternoon with cokes and Cheetos in hand. Rest assured!

In the spirit...

Had to post these in honor of this weeks historic events. Cheers everyone!

Four months old!

Gator-Raid

So Dom is a huge UF fan (also Mets and Jets), for those of you that don't know. This entire season I have had to hear about the Gators, Tim Tebow is a God, blah blah blah. When they lost to Ole Miss I thought I was going to have to admit him for some psychiatric help. Men and their loyalty...

In the spirit of friendly smack talking here is a conversation (via text messaging) between him and my father (Stan):

Stan to me: A little advice, put a nipple on the whiskey bottle for Dom and make sure you burp him when Oklahoma goes up by 21 tonight.

Me to Stan: Haha, I will. I just read your text to him, you'll be hearing from him soon if I had to guess.

Dom to Stan: You can tell OU is scared shitless by all of their smack talk. Rent a movie so when Florida is up by 21 you have something to do. Oh, and some advice for you, kiss my ass.

Stan: I had to rent a movie when the Mets tried to make it, when the Jets tried, so I don't doubt I'll need one for the Gators. I'm thinking of a Yankee highlight reel as I looked for a Mets reel but they don't exist.

Dom: Hey, why haven't you mentioned how awesome UT played? I tell you why - because they sucked Bevo's balls. They sure showed everyone they belonged in the title game - NOT so much.

Stan: 1/2 the population thinks sucking balls is not a bad thing. Don't be a Florida puss and turn your phone off in the first quarter. Long live the Mets, Jets, and Gators.

Dom: You win old man.

So, in the spirit of the National title tonight, and because I'm a pain in the ass: GO SOONERS!

My life on the 'M' list...

M as in Motherhood.

Warning: Do not continue reading if you are afraid or grossed out by baby poop and/or the topic of breast feeding.

I never thought the day would come that I used these words "Yay poopy!". But I did, it happened. My poor daugher is now exclusively on formula, the boobs just decided one day that they were done. Breastfeeding is out the door. I made it 4 1/2 months, and wanted to go a bit longer but nature has a way of doing what it wants. I was upset, briefly, but have now put my daughters health in the hands of a jar of powder. Good smelly powder too.

So back to the important stuff, poop. When Brooklyn was born the nurses asked that we record every time she has a dirty diaper, they want to make sure there is at least one #2 like substance in a 24 hour period. Brooklyn, no lie, had like 7 or 8. Since then she has been more than regular, until this last weekend. She hadn't gone in almost 48 hours and had a terrible day Sunday. Cried and cried, Dom and I both were just staring blankly not sure what to do with her. Monday we took her to her sitter as we both had to go to work and it was a BAD morning for her. Apparently crying until she started sweating. The night before we gave her some apple juice in her bottle, and again that morning. We picked her up that evening, got home and fed again, and then it happened. It was loud, smelly, and AWESOME. And I said it, "Yay poopy!". I was so proud and happy for this little one who had been so uncomfortable. Relief, finally, and she was all smiles.

It is amazing how life on the M list just gets better every day. It's the simple things in life, like a good pile o shit diaper, that make us happy.

For auld lang syne, my dear

So we rang in the New Year with much success. KQ had folks over and as always we had a blast. New Year's Eve last year we were in Manhatten and I had just taken a pregnancy test that turned out to be...yeah...you guessed it...positive! I know that I have said this probably 10 times in this blog but it is crazy how time goes by SO fast.

The close of 2008 and the start of 2009 is encouraging. A new start for everyone, even though to some it may just feel like another day. The craziness of my life has slown down considerably, and I no longer seem to be that interesting to people anymore, which is a good thing. For awhile there those of you that know me can attest to my life seemingly being a hot topic of conversation many folks thought was their business to be in. 2007 was worse, but it carried into 08 and I'm hoping someone else besides me becomes their drama.

So here is to old friends, thank you for being you. To new friends, glad to have met you and look forward to memories to come. To Dom, thank you for everything you do, you are a wonderful father and have given me such peace. To Brooklyn girl - you are my angel. To my family, what a journey - I love you. To everyone - Happy New Year and good luck in the 09. It's going to be a great year.