Dancing Backwards in High Heels

Taking time.

2011-01-03T16:56:00.002-06:00

It takes time to develop things - relationships, careers, BABIES, life is an evolution, as is this blog. I have such high hopes to air the thoughts in my head, capture on paper, create a memory I intend to go back and read. But I suppose in my ability to try to take time to blog, which I have failed, I have been taking time to enjoy other things. Like,

Beautiful faces.

Christmas trees.

Friends.

Moments.

Family.

My new house, my every day struggles to cook healthy, delicious food for my family. My time is more precious than ever and in the attempt to do it all I still find a way to feel like I'm not taking enough time. As I closed out 2010 I took time to just sit, in my house, with my husband, champagne in hand - and celebrated. As I welcomed in 2011 I did the same thing - spent the morning snuggling with my babies and took the afternoon for lunch and drinks with some great friends. Taking time is what I will do this year.

My resolution.

(**Note that all other resolutions I never can keep up with still apply - workout more, read more, blog more, make photobooks**) :)

Happy New Year friends, may it be your best.

Holidays

2010-12-10T16:25:00.001-06:00

Brooklyn saw Santa on Sunday, she said "TRICK OR TREAT." God bless her, the holidays at 2 years old just all run together. As expected, both my kids were just a little confused by the whole Santa ordeal.

I bought Elf on a Shelf. Genius concept and totally working.

I'm the new puree queen. Sneaking veggie purees in almost every meal, got you B! Thank you Double Delicious for the amazing recipes that are so tasty.

We've watched almost all of my favorite Xmas movies already - Christmas Vacation, Love Actually, Miracle on 34th, you get it. Those paired with champagne are the ideal way to kick off the season.

Thanksgiving was at our new house this year. Hosted 15 people and pulled it off - got my Martha Stewart on and managed to not make anyone sick. Score!

Ty is huge. He's 6 months old Wednesday, for the 90000th time, I can't believe how fast this is going.

Christmas decorations are up, my house feels so warm and cozy, except when Brooklyn took a bite out of a GLASS ornament. It was an icicle she claimed look like a carrot. At least she was going after a veggie.

Happy hours, holiday parties, booked weekends from here until the New Year. I love the holiday season and can't wait to celebrate with my babies, family, and friends.

So much to be thankful for.

Transitions.

2010-11-09T10:00:00.002-06:00

To stay consistent with several of my last posts, as few and far between as they may be, I need to talk about a very important transition. Changes. A transition that I think subconsciously I was putting off simply to slow down time...

My littlest G is sleeping in his own bed, upstairs, in his own room.

My husband and I have never had our kids sleep in our actual bed, but next to it in a bassinet. It's so much easier those first few months to just reach your arm out, find the paci, feel them breath, get up to feed them when you're a foot away. Listening to a newborn baby breath in the still of the night warms my soul.

Two weeks old.

Blink.

Five months old now, ready to move more, stretch out, kick, be on.his.own.

So last week we did it. We took him upstairs to his room, laid him down in the crib, he was asleep in less than 5 minutes. My sweet little baby boy, all grown up already, I stayed there for a few minutes just soaking it all in, letting go, transitioning.

Crazytown, population 4.

2010-11-02T15:29:00.001-05:00

This fall has been nothing short of insane for my family. No bullshit, no exaggeration, and those of you that have been around me have heard all of it, every last detail. Thank you for being there!
It all started with this grand idea to list our house, cause, you know, the babies need some room to run. Given the market is craptastically slow we figured it would be months before it sold. Offer came in 3 days later. Here we go.................

Listing a house with two small kiddos is tough, because you have to stage it as though it's picture perfect at all times. No dried food on the counters, hidden cheerios under the couch, laundry, toys, normal life has to been masked so that no one gets scared away. On that note we're forever grateful it took no time at all.

So we move into "lets find a new house mode" and it took a minute for me to find one we loved. But what we found, we loved.

Minor kink - the husband decided that it was time to leave his current job. It's a long, drawn out story that I'd be glad to tell one day but at the end of the day - nothing about his old company is worthy of me even wasting my breath anymore. What's done is done and I supported him 100%. He did manage a payout, so at the end of the day - he's a bad ass and thank you old job for the down payment on our new house.

So yes, we decided to move forward with our new house - much more space, great neighborhood, perfect for us.

Oh, and lets not forget in all of this I went back to work. Minor detail.

Oh, and did I mention we have a 4 month old and a two year old.

Birthdays to celebrate, football season to tend to, pumpkin bread to make, all of my normal fall activities were weaved in and out of this tangled to-do list.

We are incredibly blessed, however, because two days after my husband left his job he got an offer from an outstanding company he had been interviewing with. Thank you baby Jesus and everyone else. Literally, blessed beyond measure.

Back to that to-do list:

New school for the kiddos
Pack
Pack more.
Pack.
Schedule move.
Change of address
New utilities
Pack the rest of that crap that never makes it into boxes.
Insert work trip to Nashville mid-move.
Cure 2 year old with ear infection.
Unpack boxes.
Unpack more...
Halloween with friends (so fun, and so needed!)
Trick or treat with kiddos
We have no groceries...
Woops, strep throat. Quick shot in the hip and recovered. Minor hiccup.
Hubs starts new job.
New homeowners bitching about a missing stove top knob that was supposed to be delivered, not here yet...

It's ENDLESS! It's life.

But, we are over the hump and I swear I can finally see the dust settling. I can't wait to be boring again, able to call friends back, play on FB when the kids go to bed, my biggest task at hand is scheduling our ugly sweater Christmas party. My favorite time of year, can't wait to have my house put together, my kiddos in their xmas pj's, a fire in the fireplace, and to be home.

Almost there....

Waiting for T.

2010-10-21T16:10:00.002-05:00

I take pictures all the time on my iPhone. Capture, reflect back, move on to the next one. I finally uploaded them to my pc today and it was literally like going back in time to relive so many amazing moments. My actual camera does the same thing but it's as if I didn't expect on my phone, like that picture I took was to somehow freeze time, but never going to be hung on a wall somewhere. I should scroll them more often, because in the 378 images I have on there I climb a mountain of memories.

Specifically, our last outing with Brooklyn before her baby brother arrived. We loaded up and went to Build A Bear (amazing freaking idea of a store why couldn't I have thought of that!!!) and out to lunch. I literally can flash back and be in that day.

Mingo arrived in our family that day. Mingo is her pink flamingo's name, because you see, Brooklyn didn't want anything to do with bears, or puppies, she picked out a giant pink bird. Which is exactly why I love that kid.

We went to lunch afterwards and I just remember sitting at the table thinking this might just be our last meal at a restaurant as a family of 3.

And I was right.

Later that week, this happened.

TWO.

2010-10-11T09:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Brooklyn,

You turned two over a month ago, this letter is long overdue. Blame your little brother, work, or your father for anything related to the delay in writing you this.

In the blink of an eye, literally, you have grown up. You speak in full sentences and you know exactly what you want. If you want juice you simply find your cup, go to the refrigerator, open it up, move a wine bottle or milk out of the way, and grab the juice. You then proceed to walk over to me and say 'open mama, taaaaank you mama.'And then you pitter-patter away to your next adventure.

Speaking of adventures - you are having many of them. You love to sing, dance, play in the dirt, wash Daddy's car, play with Barbies, play tea party with mimi or mama, "cook" with mommy in the kitchen, feed baby Ty, swim in your bathtub, play trains, paint pictures, rock and put your babies to bed (sometimes in timeout), pretend to be an animal and sometimes even a dinosaur, play princesses, dress up, put on makeup (chapstick)...your little imagination is always on. I cherish it. I want to snatch you up and freeze time as watching you grow is nothing short of amazing. I tear up a lot when no one is looking as I realize the moments I am having with you are some of the best times of my life.

You are VERY dramatic these days, "I stuck mommy" (while under a throw pillow), "WHOA, I fall down" (on purpose), "It's slippppery mommy" (you just have socks on), "Oh no, wah are we gonna doooo." (I have no idea what you are even talking about with that one), "Oh MY GOSH!!!!" (again, most of the time have no idea what you are referring to), "Is to heaby mommy" (It's just your blanket B, you can lift it), and my favorite "WE HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE!" (as you run from something that I clearly cannot see). My little damsil in distress, how you melt my heart.

You're not off the hook though Miss B. You are starting to show your Daddy and I all of the traits that make up who you are. You're persistent, creative, competitive, demanding, and can be quite the diva - full of attitude. Remind me when you're older to tell you about the MELTDOWN you had in Central Park while in NYC. That was a fun one. So much so that a cop stopped your father and asked him if that was his child since you were screaming so hard for mommy. That was either before or after you hit your dad in the face. He can tell you about that one too. :)

"Terrible-two's" aside you are the most remarkably loving little girl, intelligent and observant beyond your years. You make us laugh so hard we cry, and you bring an energy into any room that makes everyone light up. Your mimi, papa, grandpa, and nana love you. Your uncles are already scheming on how they will be protecting you as you grow, and your little brother looks at you with eyes of adoration.

You are my B, my B-sker, my angel, my Brooklyn. I love you more than any mommy could ever explain to the world. Happy belated birthday my love.

The Mama.

1st day of school...

2010-09-27T16:49:00.001-05:00

BOTH of my kiddos started school today. What does that mean? It means I'm back at work. I say school instead of daycare because it makes me feel better. Where they go is a great place, awesome teachers, awesome curriculums - rules like, no baby in cribs unless they are sleeping no TV's, etc...it's a good place. But it's not home, and I'm not with them.

I have a great job at a thriving company so I honestly cannot complain at all. It's just that staying in our pj's until Ellen was over every morning with a hot cup of coffee and my beautiful babies by my side was amazing. Planning dinners, keeping up with laundry, seeing friends for lunch, rainy days where we baked cookies, played barbies, painted, and watched too much TV....all so incredibly wonderful memories. I cherished my time home this second time around more than ever, knowing it would go by so fast and also knowing it would be my last (while they are babies, at least). I had days where I screamed into a pillow when schedules just didn't stick and melt downs occured. Thankfully my husband was there to pick up the pieces when he got home and get us all back on track. I don't really remember those days near as much as all of the fantastic moments I had just being a full time mommy.

I've always struggled with this since having kids, as I'm sure most moms do. I don't believe I'm destined to permanently stay home with the kids, but I do think that maybe through a year old would be absolutely ideal. At this very moment that option just doesn't exist for me and I have to do what is best for my family in the long run. I'm 100% not trying to be all 'woe is me' here as there are hundreds of thousands of moms out there doing this everyday too. And, I do like working. Harder for me to see that at this exact moment because this is literally day 1 back, but I know I like the intensity, the challenge, and the financial reward that goes with having a career.

All things in time always work themselves out. Emotions will calm down, schedules and routines will exist and I'll still love on my babies every single day as much as possible. The 1st day of school was just tough for me, period.

Capturing.

2010-09-15T20:43:00.004-05:00

I've been wanting to write a blog post FOREVER. I've been wanting to read blog posts FOREVER. I simply just have not done it. I REALLY want to get back on the bandwagon of posting regularly because I feel like I have so much to share with all 29 of you! This might go down in history as maybe one of the longest blog posts ever so pour a cup of coffee and get comfortable.

I've been home since the Friday before Ty was born. He was born on Wednesday, June 16th, and I literally thought I would write daily about the adventures of having two babies, summertime, birthday celebrations, graduations and trips. It's September 14th and all of those things have happened, memories in mind and not on paper. I have to go back to work on the 27th and I simply can't believe it. To many it may feel like I've been on "vacation" (as the young, ignorant boys call it) but to me I literally feel like we just got home with him. He's growing like crazy, and has changed so much in the short 13 weeks he's been here. He smiles and giggles almost every time you look at him. He sleeps from about 8:00 p.m. until 4:00/5:00 a.m., and gives us no fight when going to bed.

I keep waiting for that to change because it's a little too blissful. He's the littlest G and we are so grateful. Thinking about handing him over to someone else for 40+ hours a week makes me cringe.

Moving on from that topic now to avoid one of those start crying feel sorry for myself sessions. The summer was so much fun for us. BBQ's with friends, my birthday (DIRTY THIRTY!!!), a trip up to NYC to see family and spend a few days in the city. Our kiddos did great with all of the travel, we spent some time on Long Beach, Brooklyn, then in Manhattan. They rode on airplanes, taxis, cars, subways and were our little traveling soldiers. The oldest of the two had a MAJOR MELTDOWN in Central Park, worst in the history of her life, but that wasn't anything a few cold beers didn't fix for Dom and I when we got back to the hotel. She crashed for about 3 1/2 hours that day so clearly we over did it.

On the beach in Long Island

Brooklyn brownstone Dom grew up in

At FAO Schwartz

Both kids passed out in Central Park....heaven.

Ty hanging with Daddy walking the streets

My birthday party was a huge success. To me, at least. Boat on the lake. Kid free for two days. A ridiculous amount of BOOZE. Best friends. Hot sun. Good music. Awesome memories. The hubs worked his ass off to make it all happen, I am a lucky girl to have that man. He makes sure I always know I'm loved.

More important than my birthday was my baby girls 2nd birthday! We had cake at her school, balloons, dinner with our family and a never ending pile of presents for her to rip into. She pretty much has a full vocabulary at this point, does most things 'ALL BY MYSELF MOMMY!!!!", is an amazing big sister, and
literally changes every day. I look at her now and know that time won't stop, it speeds up. I love that girl more than life.

It's the changing of seasons I suppose, although to me with this never ending heat wave it still feels like we should all be poolside. But, football games in the background are becoming an all too familiar sound. School has started for everyone, you can just feel the winds of change. Bittersweet for me as it means I'm about to close my final chapter of pregnancies, babies, and mommy time home. For now. Never know what the future holds right? And no, that doesn't mean more babies.

I am going to try, try hard, to blog more. My world around is so fast moving these days that I feel like if I don't force myself to capture some of this on paper I'll forget it all.

Hug your babies.

2010-08-18T15:32:00.001-05:00

It's been one year since my sweet baby cousin was taken from this earth at just 3 years old.

Gone, in an instant.

Since that day, that phone call, that funeral I have thought of her at least once every single day. She is a constant reminder to me that life is short, it's precious, and it needs to be LIVED. I find myself getting frustrated with my almost 2 year old who is rolling around in the aisle at Target, SCREAMING, because she wanted two big girl backpacks instead of one. Or, my 9 week old who still has no real schedule to speak of because the kid eats and eats and eats and my control freak type A personality is getting thrown a curve ball. Before I even have the chance to truly lose my patience my mind always goes to my Aunt and Uncle who would give anything in the world to have these 'frustrations'. They don't have them anymore, just toys on a shelf, little red boots, and books that don't get read.

It's important that we hug our babies every single day. We will be tired, overwhelmed, and in need of an adult beverage now and then but we have been given a life that is blessed beyond measure.

Live it. Love it. Cherish it.

Thank you Lena for reminding me every day to do just that. We miss you.

Fat and Happy.

2010-08-16T20:20:00.000-05:00

9 weeks old this Wednesday. I.CANNOT.BELIEVE.THAT.

Always eating.

Full of smiles.

Loves to 'talk.'

Loves his bath time.

Cranky when he's tired.

Growing like a weed.

Loving every minute.

Fat and Happy.

All good things.

2010-07-26T16:32:00.001-05:00

Mad Men started yesterday.

Dom and I had a date Saturday night and THEN met friends for drinks. I had my first hangover since being knocked up a million weeks ago.

Milkscreen strips. If you don't know what they are look them up, or watch Kourtney and Khloe. They allow for a mom's night out occasionally if you are breastfeeding.

I took a bubble bath yesterday.

I bought Eat, Pray, Love today.

I also bought Bethenny Frankel's two books - I'm going to unleash the Skinnygirl, as she says.

I watched Food, Inc. last night. If you haven't watched this you must. As a result Ty and I spent over 2 hours at the Farmers Market today tying to buy all organic and natural. This shit is hard.

My 30th bday party is booked - houseboat on the lake with my best friends. The title of my Evite is "Go Shorty, it's your birthday..." - because what 30 year old mother of two isn't still listening to 50 cent. "We gonna party like it's your birthday..."

We're booked for NYC August 25th - going to see Dom's family and spend a few nights in the city. I simply cannot wait as I consider NYC my home away from home. We are booked to stay right by the park so we'll be spending a lot of our time with the kiddos there.

Brooklyn suprises me every day. New words, new sentences, new behaviors. I love her more than life and will never get tired of saying that.

Ty is getting SO big. This Wednesday he'll be 6 weeks old (uh - what!) and he's aleady grown over an inch and gained 1.5 lbs. He eats. And eats. Love his little face, tiny fingers, and tiny toes. We've seen a few smiles too, I'm hooked.

Life is good today.

Like Brother, Like Sister

2010-07-14T09:21:00.000-05:00

Brooklyn

Look alike? I think so, and everyone keeps telling me they do. Brooklyn has changed so much since she was born, looking forward to seeing just how handsome my little man is.

Our new normal

2010-07-08T14:25:00.000-05:00

I'm tired. I'm not going to lie. And what the hell is up with all of the paid programming that comes on after about 2:00 a.m. Who decided that those of us with newborns or sleep disorders want to watch countless hours of exercise equipment or hair growth programming? Thank goodness for my DVR - I can catch up on Toddlers & Tiara's, Boston MED, or the new season of Real World. I have to get out of bed and go in the living room when I feed Ty, otherwise we wake up Dom and then he's up the rest of the night. So far Ty has been doing great, giving me about 3 - 4 hours of sleep without interuption - I get about 6 - 7 hours of sleep total which I would consider fantastic. Even though I'm staring at my television at 2:30 a.m. and would love to be all curled up in my nice, soft comforter I stare at my little guy and cherish the moment. Tired and all I know this will pass quickly, as I watch my almost two year old dump out an entire bag of animal crackers as I sit here and type this.

Our new normal is starting to come together - Dom takes Brooklyn to school M-W-F, then she's home with me on Tuesday and Thursdays. We fill our Tuesdays and Thursdays with PJ's all morning, playing upstairs in her room, painting, doing *stickers*, taking care of Baby Ty. After her nap I try to find something else to do that allows her to get outside, although the rain today will make that somewhat difficult. We may curl up on the couch and watch Jungle Book or Nemo for the 134th time. I've had to let go a bit of my obsessive need to keep our house clean as I've learned quickly that dried cheerios on your favorite rug are the new normal, and a few dishes in the sink don't hurt anything. Dom reminds me that we do 'live' here, so let it be for awhile. I have felt a bit overwhelmed when Brooklyn is screaming for something and Ty is too - those are moments I just take a deep breath in, smile, and give myself a pat on the back for being able to shower and put on makeup that day.

Introducing....

2010-07-01T16:44:00.001-05:00

Ty Bentley Granato

Born June 16, 2010

8 lbs 4 oz

21 inches long

Welcome littlest G!

Yes, it's already been two weeks since the birth of our baby boy. Time is flying, as it always does - but we have just spent the last 14 days learning and loving being our new family of four. I will continue to say that I'm blessed beyond measure. Having our first child was so overwhelmingly special I truly wasn't sure how your heart allows to love even more beyond that. But, it does, more than anyone can understand until you have two or three or four of your own, but now being a mama of two small little faces makes more proud than ever before. The oldest is turning into a big sister now, learning how to share the spotlight, giving hugs, kisses, and showing her jealous side a bit too as a major meltdown ensues when little brother gets too much attention. For the most part she's doing amazing and I love watching her turn into the BIG sister I know she will be. The little one is breathing, eating, sleeping, and well - pooping. ALL.THE.TIME. I had forgotten how prepared you need to be at changing newborn diapers, there is always an element of a suprise if you're not quick enough. Sure we're not sleeping much right now, our schedule is a bit off, and the house gets messier than ever before but I'm absolutely diving into it all and cherishing every minute. Yes, my type A control freak side is challenged trying to keep up with things, or let go rather, but this time around I find myself more relaxed as I've seen with Brooklyn how fast it will all change. His little fingers, toes, tiny baby feet, pudgy face, sleepy eyes will be no more just a matter of time and I'm not going to miss a thing. It's weird to think that this chapter of my life is now closed - going through pregnancy was truly memorable but I am almost certain I can say I'm glad it's over. :) I mean, I love the heartburn, puking, uncomfortable 24/7 feelings, but I pass the torch to the rest of you now.

For now I am focused on being a mama of two, my babies, my world.

Final Countdown!

2010-06-14T16:34:00.001-05:00

Last Thursday I went to see my doctor, weekly check up, with no expectations. I left knowing that I was 3 cm dilated and thrown into a whirlwind of 'whooohooo - let the labor begin!' It's Monday...and still, no baby.

Over the weekend I was counting every ache and pain thinking surely the little man would grace us with his presence any minute. It's Monday, no contractions, no baby...yet.

I do believe in divine intervention and in my case I believe someone was telling me I needed to take a few days to decompress. Looking back at the last few months I truly don't know that I ever really was able to relax like I tried to do, primarily because work was just so nonstop. Throw the rest of life on top of that and I don't know that I ever allowed myself to get fully into new mom mode. This week I'm off of work and able to do what I want to do - mani, pedi, a little shopping at Sephora, lunch with friends, hanging with Brooklyn. Laundry can be done at my earliest convenience, dinner can get started before 6:30, life can go at a pace that I have more control of. As much as I'm ready to get into that hospital and get this done I am enjoying these couple of days to get myself back to normal. But...don't get me wrong, it's in the back of my mind always that I'm one step close to being a mom of two. I can't wait!!!!!!

Let the final countdown begin....!

So much to say, so much to say

2010-05-20T12:53:00.001-05:00

Holy pregnancy did I fall off the wagon with this blog or what? I've been mentally here, sort of, blogging in my head but never translating to paper. TOO. DAMN. BUSY. It mostly stems from work, things have been insane and while I'm very grateful for the job, I'm beat when I get home.

It's been a whirlwind these past few weeks, and then some. I'm 36 weeks pregnant this Saturday and am feeling every bit of it. We'll just leave it at that in an attempt to not sound over dramatic, and to spare you the fun details of what's happening to your body at the end. The end. The END - it's near! I can't hardly believe that in just a few weeks I'll meet this little man. This pregnancy has felt long, but then again looking back it does feel like it's also flown by. It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that we'll have another little one around. Brooklyn is it, she's our baby girl, so grown up now and becoming a big sister.

Lets pause and update on that little diva while we're at it. Her vocabulary is insane - she's says anything from 'mommy sit now!' to 'catepilwar', 'ouside','yogur','i like that!', 'be wight back', 'sweet deams!', it just goes on and on. The past two months have been remarkable in watching her change. I love that little mouse more than I can ever describer on paper, she is the best thing that has happened to Dom and I, hands down. She's also been helping in the kitchen lately and would like for me to let you know she'll be hosting a dinner party soon.

We are anxious to introduce her to her little brother, I'm confident she'll do great with the change but also know to expect a few rough patches as we work through giving our time to both.

House projects are still underway, my poor husband has been a freaking rockstar helping get everything ready. He has totally stepped it up and accomplished so many things over the last few weeks that we wanted to get done - I hope to post before and after pics of our room, the baby's room, etc...but considering it's been about 6 weeks since my last update, don't hold your breath.

Speaking of baby's room, my friends at work threw me an amazing shower and HOOKED us up with so many adorable little boy things. I am so grateful, it's such an awesome feeling when people are so generous and thoughtful, it overwhelms me. What also overwhelmed me was all the BLUE as I'm so used to seeing PINK. A balloon was all it took that day to throw me into the reality that my little BOY is almost here.

I've got so much to say, updates to give, stories to tell, but that's it for now folks. I'm hanging in there, almost done making this baby. Stay tuned.

PROJECTS.

2010-04-18T19:52:00.001-05:00

I'm 31 weeks now. I'm not a huge belly shot picture taker but I figured at this stage of the game I'll just use it to illustrate a point. See this:

(WHOA MAMA!)

This causes this:

PROJECTS.

I love getting organized, being creative, having the best of intentions to re-do this, re-do that, blah blah blah. But, then life happens and only about a 1/3 of them get done. Except when I'm pregnant. I'm a freakin rockstar getting stuff done around our house.

First on the list is a complete makeover of our bedroom. I'll take before and after shots but I'm replacing everything but the furniture - new carpet, new paint, new comforter, etc...I found our comforter finally which means I can get started with everything. A couple of the colors below will go into this new room, I can't wait to lighten it up and make it the one spot in my house I can go and escape.

I've also been working the baby's room. No big previews, you must wait until the big REVEAL before I can show you what his nursury will look like (like every other baby nursury you've ever seen) but hey - it will be special because HIS.

Dom and I went to Europe in September of 2007 - visited so many places I can't wait to get back to. Before the digital scrapbooking became as popular as it did I decided to put my own together of that trip. I've sat on this forever until recently, you know, because I have nothing else to do. Screw it, if it gets done, great.

Little things are getting done too, cabinets being cleaned out, reorganized my drawers, my closet, Brooklyn's toys, her clothes...MAMA IS ON FIRE.

Watch out.

Nesting much? I think so.

19 months

2010-04-08T22:00:00.001-05:00

You are 19 months old today. I feel like I could turn in a circle and you'll be standing there, 19 years old.

I love you sweet Brooklyn girl, you are my life.

Case of the Mama Mondays

2010-04-05T10:25:00.002-05:00

My husband called me this morning after he dropped our daughter off to tell me she had the worst break down ever as far as school drop off goes. Her school is right near his work so he takes and picks up every day. I am very grateful for this as it can be taxing on one person to do this every single day. Every morning he drops her off, watches her kick and scream, and starts his work day. We know this is normal behavior, they get over it as soon as you leave, but sometimes knowing that doesn't make it any easier.

Today was especially bad he said, lots of kicking and screaming "No DADDDDDYYYYY!!!!

When she woke up this morning she was in a great mood saying 'good mor-ing!' to us as Dom brought her downstairs. She asked for me and just laid on my chest for a few silent, still moments. My favorite times. She was acting goofy, dancing to Barney, enjoying pancakes & her 'bna-na'.

We do this routine 5 days a week and most days go really smooth. Others, like this morning, suck. I miss her, I want to stay home, comfy in our pj's, coloring, reading, playing, exploring...nap time after lunch while I get myself together, play on Facebook, blog, clean, start dinner, do some laundry. Wake up and go to the park, get home have a snack and wait for Daddy to get home. (Notice in my perfect world there are no meltdowns and tantrums to deal with). :)

It has nothing to do with dreading my actual job, that's not really the case at all. It has everything to do with just having a case of the 'mama Mondays'.

We're back....................

2010-04-01T16:08:00.001-05:00

Sadly. :( We got back on Monday night after a WONDERFUL trip. I loved everything about Cabo and absolutely recommend that you all add it to your 'places to go' lists.

The weather was gorgeous, the view was simply breathtaking, service impeccable, and the kids club services they offered worked out great. Brooklyn got a few hours in the sun every day with mommy & daddy, and then a few hours in the kids clubs doing activities, playing with other kiddos, etc...while the hubs and I just relaxed in a comfy chair by the pool. We each got massages, I got a pedicure, enjoyed live music, alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages, and each other.

Brooklyn warmed up to the staff there immediately and suddenly our 18 month old was bilingual. 'HOLA, HOLA, HOLA, HOLA...' we must have heard that 100 times from her. She did great on the 'airpanes' too, a few breakdowns in the customs lines but as I see it she's only expressing herself as we would if we could. Can someone tell me again why the customs lines always seems to have 100 booths, but 10 open? Ay ay ay.

We've managed to hop right back into our daily routines, work, bills, and all that comes with but mentally I check out and go back to this heavenly place:

Ahhhhh.....CABO. We shall meet again.

CABO!!!!

2010-03-23T10:36:00.001-05:00

Ahem, excuse me - I haven't had time to update my blog since last Wednesday. If you're wondering why it's because I've been busy getting us ready for our trip to

CABO!!!

I can't say it without the 3 or 4 annoying exclamation marks. Mama is jonesing to get on a plane and head to a beach. I might be growing a human in my belly but that doesn't make it impossible to relax on a beach chair, under a palm tree, in 82 degree weather. Nah, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. We're taking Brooklyn with us too - this will be her 2nd time to leave the country and get that passport stamped.

Please do me a favor and tomorrow around 7:35 a.m. CST send good baby flying thoughts my way. An 18 month old is not interested in sitting in one spot for several hours so I'm going to need baby Jesus on my side getting us through this. I've got an entire bag packed with plane activities, I'm sure NONE of them will be interesting enough to occupy her but I'm going to try. To the grumpy old man, stuck up yuppie, better than me business woman sitting around us - you can go ahead and suck it - I'll be doing the best I can.

Who cares about them anyway, let's get back to the whole point here. CABO. Beach, sand, sun, all expenses paid, alcohol........ wink, wink. Just playing folks, only the hubs will be sipping on the fun fruity rum drinks. I've got Brooklyn all ready to go, girls got three bathing suits - 2 two pieces and a one piece. She seems to want to pull the top off of her two pieces though so we may not use those as much as we had planned. I've got about 17 years to fix that problem. She's got 4 pairs of shoes, dresses, adorable beach outfits, new pj's, I'm sure she'll wear about half of it but I've had fun getting her ready. She's got a little wagon full of beach toys we packed in our suitcase, she knows she's going on an "airpane" to go see the 'beadch.'

I fully intend to post pictures on Facebook as I'm there for my friends and family to see, just to rub it in a little bit. If anyone needs a refresher on what the beach looks like, I'll leave you with this:

See you next Tuesday - ADIOS AMIGOS. :)

Glucose and such

2010-03-17T20:17:00.001-05:00

I went to the Dr. this morning and did my glucose screening test. Bring on the orange drink, let's do this. She handed me the bottle and said I have 5 minutes to drink it, I went and sat down, drank it, and handed it back to her within the minute. I guess my beer chugging days have paid off as she said it must have been a record. I can't be bothered taking my time with that bottle of nasty, I just have to get it done.

I met with my doctor and we went over the same basic set of questions -

How are you feeling? Good, big.
Can you feel the baby kick? He performs several routines to kung-fu fighting on a daily basis, so yes.
Anymore problems with vomiting? Not because of this little guy but I did catch a 24 hour stomach virus last week, thoroughly enjoyed that.

Anything else for me?

Hmmm...I do have a horrible chest cold, can you just write me something for that? You know, the good stuff. Blank stare, the half effort smile, and finally answers with, "why don't you see how it plays out over the next few days and call me back." WHATEVER lady.

Ay ay ay, I am truly trying to focus on this pregnancy and enjoy it, take compliments from people and really appreciate them but the day to day grind coupled with annoying chest colds is making this week a LONG one!

At least I left knowing my chugging skills are still in me, orange drink's got nothing on this mama.

Let's go fly a kite...

2010-03-16T13:42:00.000-05:00

Any Mary Poppin's fans out there? Cause if you are, you'll remember this song:

Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height!
Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let's go fly a kite!

Classic movie, one of my favorites. When I was little I would draw chalk paintings on the sidewalk and pretend to 'jump' in them as they did, oh to be young with an imagination again!

Austin is a kick ass city, in case you haven't heard. Part of being a kick ass city is that you have things like, Kite Festivals. No rhyme or reason to the event, just a beautiful day, beautiful park, view of downtown, and 100's of kites. We took Brooklyn out there for a couple of hours and she had a blast - minus the part where a kite took a nose dive, and literally hit her nose. (Kimberly - you were right!).

Days like Sunday are my most favorite of days, relaxing with my family, people watching, enjoying the SUN...

..."oh, let's go fly a kite!"

Your name.

2010-03-11T20:24:00.002-06:00

I've been thinking about what your name will be ever since I found out you are a BOY. We named your sister during a Mets game, your dad was watching it on TV and I plopped down next to him with a list of names I had written out. We went through them one by one and quickly narrowed down the list.

It hit me, right away, her name would be Brooklyn. As I read it over and over it became so perfectly fitting. Your Dad was born there, we were married in the city, it was our New York, in Texas. Brooklyn. Her middle name, Noel, was easy as that reminds us of Christmas, our favorite time of year. We also found out we were pregnant with her, in New York, at Christmas. It all just fit.

Now, you are coming along and I am searching for the puzzle pieces that will make up your name. It doesn't have to be the same story as your sisters, although we have had many people suggest Bronx, her counterpart, or Austin, where your mama was born. Neither of those are working for me.

Will you be named after another city we absolutely love?
A favorite song or songwriter?
A favorite place we've traveled to?
A moment? A memory?
A grandparent?
An icon?
Favorite TV show?

Who are you?

Hmmmmm, mama is working on it baby, and it will be perfect, for you.

Second.

2010-03-04T21:12:00.004-06:00

I was the only child for 8 years in my family. Then - THEY CAME ALONG. One right after the other, 18 months apart.

I love them. They are my siblings, my brothers, my friends. What will it be like for her when he gets here? We joke about how she'll drag him around by the hair, boss him into playing with her babies, blocks, books...eat his food, take his drink, steal his trucks. We laugh at her innocent manipulation, knowing all too well that even at a year and half old there is full intention behind her actions.

I'm 25 weeks this Saturday. I simply cannot believe that. Life is going by so fast right now it's everything I have to hang on to the days and cherish the moments. I haven't stopped to read anyones blog this week, work has just been way TOO busy. I hope to get caught up eventually as I turn to blogs like I do a good book or bad reality TV show - a place to escape for a few minutes.

I am making a mental effort as I approach my third trimester to soak this pregnancy up, to truly embrace it like my mother constantly reminds me to do. He deserves that from me, undivided focus on the one thing only he and I can share before he meets this big, bright new world, his da-da, and his big sister.

He's my second, my son, and I can't wait to meet him.

15 more weeks little man.

Oh snow you didn't...

2010-02-24T20:36:00.003-06:00

Oh yes it did.

Let me remind everyone that my last post was about Sunday brunch in the 75 degree beautiful sun. Tuesday, snow. Texas weather is as about consistent as our mood swings during our favorite time of month.

It was absolutely beautiful to me, I love seeing everything covered in white. For those of us that don't get this often we can truly appreciate the ambiance it creates.

Everyone, except Brooklyn.

We were so excited to take her out to play in it after work. We got home, got all bundled up and took her out...

It lasted all of one HOT minute.

She hated it. It was cold...and wet...and new...and stupid as far as she was concerned. There were no family shots frolicking in the snow, building snowmen, snowball fights, ending with a cup of hot cocoa. Oh noooooo, not in our house. The fit started outside and lasted a good 15 minutes inside as she was PISSED we would subject her to such cruelty.

We woke up this morning to the last bit of snow still melting away, our temperature was back up in the 50's by days end.

Thanks for coming to visit us snow, we'll see you again in about 10 years.

That's what friends are for...

2010-02-21T21:19:00.001-06:00

Remember that song? Keep smiling, keep shining, KNOWING YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME, for sure, that's what friends are for..........

Apparently this hot mess has never heard that song, neither have her friends. If they had they would never let her come out of the house looking like this.

AT SUNDAY BRUNCH.

I met some of my best friends out today for brunch and we had an absolute blast. They had bottomless Mimosa's, me, bottomless water. The weather was perfect, too perfect almost and I actually got some SUN. Uh, what?

Then this showed up:

Sorry I had to take it (pic doesn't even do it justice). I don't normally exploit people like this but seriously, can someone please tell her that this is the Lord's day! Any of my girls came out looking like that and I would literally drive my car off before they could get to the door. There was a little of her and a little of Jersey Shore going on. It was fantastic people watching today.

We named her Madonna Lauper, hot mess.

Babyproofed.

2010-02-20T19:55:00.000-06:00

Apparently we have some work to do.

Weekend good deed FAIL.

2010-02-14T21:02:00.002-06:00

I made dinner for my mom and I Saturday night. We had gone shopping and found lots of goodies for the little one on the way, more to come on that later. I dropped her and B off at home and ran back up to the store to get the goods.

Found myself in the checkout line behind a woman and her two kids. The oldest boy was probably around 5, the youngest just a few months old. I wasn't paying too close attention but her and the cashier were going back and forth about something, next thing I know they took her gallon of milk and said something to her about WIC??? I know a little about what it is but have no clue what the "rules" are. All I see is young mama, two kids, couldn't afford milk.

It's my turn and I just had a few things, I asked the cashier to go ahead and put the milk with my stuff, definitely had $1.99 to spare that day. I paid and quickly rushed to get out the door so I could give the woman her milk, but as I exit I see she is standing there with her oldest son looking through her purse. I walked up to her cart and placed the milk inside - she looked at me - looked back at her son and proceeded to get out her wallet.

Okay...wonder what that's all about. She looks at me, says thank you, opens her wallet and hands her son some CASH so he could

GO BUY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.

I'm sorry - WAH? WHAT? WTF? WHAT! I'm not saying I don't want your kid to have the girl scout cookies but what the hell is wrong with you and your priorities. Oh you don't have them? Shocker.

I honestly felt like such a dumb ass as I walked away. I don't need acknowledgement for doing a good deed but at the same time I'd like to publicly announce I probably wouldn't be as inclined to help out next time in that same situation. There are good people in this world, no doubt, but there as just as many living off the system going nowhere, feeling okay about it.

Maternity melt downs.

2010-02-12T21:53:00.003-06:00

I'm going to come across as quite the hypocrite in this next post but I'm emotional and pregnant, so it's allowed. Or something.

I'm a hypocrite because when writing about Lena I emphasized what is important to focus on, how to be balanced, cherish the days, etc...and while I do truly mean ALL of it, I am still human. And female. And pregnant. Have I mentioned that yet? ;)

I'm almost 22 weeks along which means I'm for real showing now. I no longer get the "wow, Heather's put on some weight in the belly looks" because it's starting to look like a basketball shoved under my shirt. Not a full sized basketball yet, but getting there. I've slowly given each of my regular pants their 'last wear' (queue TAPS to play in your head), and hung them in the back of my closet. I've busted out the few pieces of clothing I still have from being pregnant with Brooklyn, and here we are.

Except I was showing with her starting about April/May timeframe, i.e., it was hot out. Totally different set of clothing needed for days like today where it's 37 degrees outside.

I had a melt down in my closet twice this week. MELT.DOWN. Probably changed clothes at least 4 times each morning, throwing the majority of them back on the ground, settled on something, left my house giving no response to "bye honey, love you." My poor husband. Not once I did this to him, but twice.

I am hitting that phase where I no longer fit into anything the right way and I needed to fully embrace my need for maternity clothes. Best way to solve that problem: suck it up, go to the mall, suck it up some more and go into Mimi Motherhood or whatever the hell it's called, and buy something.

Nevermind that half of the shirts have the pattern of your grandmother's table cloth with a string under your boobs to accentuate your ever growing belly. As if you really WANT to look MORE pregnant. And what's up with the small dressing rooms? Has anyone else noticed this? In case the owners of those stores forgot, we're PREGNANT. Give us some freakin room.

Then there is the "how much do I spend" conflict. Depending on what I'm buying I usually don't think too much about the price, as long as it's reasonable - but maternity clothes, they get you. You're trapped, you're the sucker, and next thing you know cha-ching, they hand you your receipt for all the clothes you just bought that you just wear for the next 4-5 months. "Oh really? You think I look great in this over sized trash bag looking blouse? Really? Oh okay, sure, I'll take it!

So what if this is my vanity getting the best of me. For me, I still feel the need to be slightly tasteful in my preggo attire and sorry if I don't want to look like I stepped out of the Duggar family trailer. I mean - love their denim and plaid, really do, but not for me.

For the love of baby jesus, and all babies for that matter, can someone please design cute, afforable, (I shouldn't even say it - gasp!) stylish maternity clothing!?

Not a day goes by.

2010-02-09T12:14:00.001-06:00

I think of my baby cousin often. Daily, really. She was taken from this life way too soon, I'm convinced of that, and although I do believe everything happens for a reason I can't help feel so much emotion surrounding her death. I know it has a lot to do with the fact she was just 3 years old and died so tragically. So helplessly, in an instant. I think of my Aunt and Uncle, struggling to just survive as each morning they wake up fighting a war, alone.

Having my child makes this situation all the more real to me, as it did when she first died. I couldn't stop comparing it to what I would do if anything ever happened to my sweet baby girl, who I live for, who is changing every day - talking, comprehending, suprising us at every turn with something new. She makes us laugh, pushes us to the limits, and makes memories for us that we could have never predicted.

I hear and read stories about people that neglect their children. The woman in Houston who starved her child, she died at 8 years old weighing all of 15 lbs. The father that forced his 4 year old daughter's head into a kitchen sink full of water 3, 4, 5 times because she wouldn't recite her ABC's. These two stories released in the last two days, I'm sure if I went back a week I could have 5 more just like that of individuals who should have never become parents in the first place and take it all for granted.

I work hard to maintain balance in my life, and since my cousin passed away I think I've found success in achieving it. With that comes a great sense of peace that in the distant past I struggled a great deal to find. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, how quick life changed for everyone, and how there is nothing in life like living in the moment. My bad days are still bad, I have normal 'freak out' sessions, tears for no real reason, my husband staring at me with that blank look of WTF is happening to my wife. :) I'm sure the pregnancy elevates all of this to new levels, in fact I know it does, but I can come back down and level out better than I ever have before.

We all miss you Lena, and I don't take for granted what you have taught us in your short life of 3 years. Rest in peace always sweet girl, we miss you every day.

Taming the Beast.

2010-02-04T16:32:00.003-06:00

When I was pregnant with Brooklyn I had crazy heartburn. It was SO much fun that I had to fall asleep sitting up some nights because it hurt that bad. There is an old wives tale that says if you have really bad heartburn your kiddo will be born with a full head of hair.

They were right.

Lots of people told me that she would lost the baby hair and 'real' hair would grow back in it's place.

They were wrong.

She never lost any hair really, it just kept growing and doing its thing.

This morning she woke up looking like this:

If that's not bed head I don't know what is. I think that's a good sign she slept well?

My husband won't even go near "it". When I was traveling for work last week he took her rubberbands to school and had her teachers do it. God help us when she's old enough to do it on her own and mommy is out of town. Not everyone has the mama skillz I do at TAMING THE BEAST.

BLUE

2010-02-02T15:56:00.001-06:00

Last week Dom and I headed off to get an anatomical screening ultrasound (fancy for penis or vagina) and there it was, LOUD AND CLEAR, if it made noise. It's a BOY!!! I don't have a digital copy of these pictures just yet but in the event I get one I will share, for Dom's sake, as he was pretty proud of the little guy showing off his junk. His chest stuck out a little further that day and I think he and the male doctor doing the ultrasound exchanged some looks, secret hi-fives, things men do when it comes to the size of their man parts.

What does it mean to me? A whole new world of baby. I have my little girl, who I love more than life, and all that comes with being her mom. Raising her to be kind, strong, and independent without being a raging feminist, loving shoes and handbags, but not afraid to get dirty. Pigtails, dresses, nail polish, and PINK.

In about 20 or so weeks I'll have BLUE. Those of you that think it's lame to be so gender specific with colors, sorry, but I'm somewhat traditional in that regard. Love yellow, green, blah blah blah, but my babies will be distinctly different. BLUE means cars, trucks, sports, hunting, fishing, bad sci-fi movies with Daddy (probably my daughter too), and teaching him also how to be strong and independent, but loving and nurturing like his father is.

I'm beyond grateful, blessed beyond measure to have the opportunity to be a mama to a little boy. I can't wait to meet him, snuggle him, and love him every day as he grows up - even when he drives me crazy and one day brings home a girlfriend. I know I have plenty of time but I'm announcing here and now that the day he does that and she has on the slightest thing skanky and he's all into her, doing what she says, whatever, mama will need a drink. Many drinks.

For now, I can't wait to focus on his tiny fingers and toes, saving him from his big sister, being 100% responsible for a beautiful, little life. We are looking forward to meeting you, little man, adding the last addition to our crazy family. Keep growing like you are, enjoy the peace and quiet as I guarantee the moment you arrive, you will have none.

Stripped

2010-01-26T16:42:00.002-06:00

I briefly scanned through a recorded Oprah recently that talked about how much *stuff* we have in our lives. Stuff was primarily defined as electronics and technology - cell phones, laptops, countless hours spent on Facebook, blogs, iphones, email...*ahem*, all the things we are doing right now. Yeah, I'm totally guilty. Everything is so accessible that it makes it hard not to be.

Brooklyn gets a bath every night after dinner. Anytime that I'm giving her a bath I either bring my iphone to check email, FB, etc...or I clean up our bathroom. I let her play and I'll give her my attention, but it's shared. Because clearly seeing everyone's updates on FB is far more important than giving her my undivided time. She'll only be this small and innocent forever, right? Right...

It applies to my husband too, friends, family, everyone really. At Christmas I almost kicked my brother's ass because he was OBSESSED with the app 'words with friends.' We are all guilty of it but for me, personally, time to scale it back a bit.

Scaling it back means no phones at the dinner table, B's bath's, playing with her in our living room, etc...Giving Dom my undivided attention rather than talking to him while scrolling through gmail. It's just all about stopping for a second to focus on the people in my life and not what's flying all around me. Pretty sure I won't have missed too much if I login and read blogs 2 hours later than I thought I was going to. We need to bring back the true meaning of quality time with one another.

I know my life will only get 'busier' as this 2nd baby makes his/her arrival. It's a balance to maintain yourself, be a good mom, still socialize, etc...but I'm going to do it. Without 24 hours of technology in my life.

It's a bit hypocritical of me to claim this while writing this blog, eh? Worth mentioning I'm sitting at JFK airport waiting to catch a flight home from a work trip, so I suppose in this instance it's okay. I don't think it's necessary for me to do any stripping here...

All about B.

2010-01-15T16:38:00.001-06:00

Even though this was technically Brooklyn's 2nd Christmas, it was a first for us on many levels. Given that she was just about 3 1/2 months old last year we really didn't do much in the way of gifts, etc...This year, however, it was all about B.

She looks deceptively innocent in her Christmas dress. Please, don't let her fool you. Here is a special project she worked on during the Christmas break. It was called Operation destroy the kitchen.

Having a little one allows you to watch all the cheesy cartoons (although we did when she wasn't here too), decorate more, make christmas cookies, put up more lights, go look at lights, buy more gifts, and just love on the idea that her little imagination is about to embark on years to come of Santa and the North Pole, reindeer landing on the roof, her daddy reading Twas the Night before Christmas, and me, teaching her lines from classics, like Christmas vacation.

We spent Christmas Eve at my mom & dad's house, as I have every December 24th of my entire life. I don't know if next year we can swing that having her and a little baby in tow but whether it be at their house or ours I'm sure we'll spend it together.

We opened gifts.

We played in new castles.

We read new books.

We made breakfast with Grandpa:

We had a wonderful Christmas.

Random, like my brain:

2010-01-11T17:03:00.005-06:00

*The Bachelor is back on and even though they are featuring one of the top douchebag contenders, I'm in. If he can stop the fake "chuckle" he might grow on me.

*My daughter is 16 months old as of 3 days ago, what.the.hell. Time is flying.

*I spent my Sunday in the hospital because I barfed way too much for any one person. It got to be ridiculous, I was basically laying on the bathroom floor. I just had to go to the hospital to get a couple IV bags of fluid and tests. All is well but I'm totally annoyed I wasted my whole Sunday head in the toilet then in a cold, stale hospital room. I will remind the wee one of this when he/she is born.

*My one and only New Year's resolution is to read more. So far I've done a crappy job but I've signed myself up for 10 books this year. Doesn't sound like much but throw the rest of life in the way and it is. Anyone have suggestions on good reading material?

*I have not ventured back into the kitchen to tackle any more La Cucina recipes. An update for those of you that read my veal disaster, I did make the cannelloni and it turned out edible, but not like your Italian grandmother. I was planning to this last Sunday but then barf-fest 2010 got in the way.

*I'm still in regular jeans but my buttons are about to pop. I'm refusing maternity clothes as long as possible.

*I hate DirectTV. You can't record two shows at once unless they come out and install additional bullshit for $180.00. This wouldn't be a problem if all my favorite shows didn't come on around the same times on different channels. Oh, and I also have a small child. Small child translates to no couch time until after 8 p.m. when she's asleep so ability to record is CRITICAL.

*It was 11 degrees at my house on Saturday morning. I live in Austin people - this shit doesn't happen here. Arctic blast froze our pipes but luckily nothing busted. I couldn't shower though on Saturday until after my lunch date with friend Angie. Thank goodness close friends don't care about appearances.

*I need to clean my house.

*I need to change my blog template out again as Santa is back at the North Pole. Add it to the list.

Intelligender intelligent?

2010-01-09T10:43:00.000-06:00

When I was pregnant with Brooklyn it seemed like it took forever to get to 20 weeks. 20 weeks was a HUGE deal because that's when our doctor agreed to do a sonogram to find out the sex of the baby. There was no question as to whether or not we were going to find out what we were having. Are you kidding me? I'm way to much of a control freak for that.

So much so that when I found out about this Intelligender test this time around there was no way I wasn't giving it a try. Impatient? Maybe.

The concept of this test is so genius - $30.00 for some plastic cup to guess what you are having with obviously no liability if wrong. A total play on your emotions but well worth the gratification.

That's what I have said all along I think I'm having - we'll see how intelligent this little test is here in about 3 weeks. Stay tuned!

Excuse me, do you carry dry spumante?

2010-01-03T17:07:00.003-06:00

I've been a bad blogger this holiday. I have good excuses though, really, I do. Oh, and one of my 2010 resolutions - use more excuses. So, there you have it and I think I'm starting off on the right foot.

My inability to keep up with everyone's blogs, including my own is because of this:

I'm sure many of you watched Julie & Julia, and if you haven't - definitely add it to your list. It's a great movie that will both inspire (if you like to cook) and make you hungry. As a result, I found myself wandering the aisles at Barnes & Noble's cookbook section and rather than pick up a copy of Julia Child's Mastering French cooking I decided to stick to my husbands roots and go Italian, full on Italian.

LA CUCINA.

It's 1000 pages people, written by the Academia Italiana Della Cucina. I love everything about Italy so I said f*** the French, let's do this. I'm not going to recreate the Julie & Julia scene by any means, but I did consider making it a New Year's resolution to master the art of Italian cooking, for both my husband and my kiddo's. I think it's important that we bring back the whole passing on of recipes concept so I need to master my specialties.

My husband said he wanted Veal for his first 'La Cucina' dish. I love veal too and narrowed it down to about 5 recipes for him to choose from. We agreed on Veal with Mushroom caps made with truffle potatoes. Easy enough. Loaded up and went to Central Market where I found myself asking people in the produce section if they carried 'dry spumante.' No one could help me there so on to the spices. Nada. Nothing. Pulled out the trusty iphone only to google that spumante is 'sparkling white wine' in Italian. Awesome. I clearly know what I'm doing.

Next stop. A white truffle. I knew this didn't mean truffle like I've seen in chocolates, but I honestly wasn't sure where to go. I sent the hubs on this mission since I already made his Italian grandmother roll over in her grave by thinking spumante was a vegetable. He came back with a teeny little bag with .01 ounces of truffle - totalling $1.99. If you do the math on this you will realize that truffles cost $199.00 a lb. One-hundred-and-ninety-nine-dollars!!! And you don't even get high or anything from this thing. WTF?

Okay, moving on. We got the veal cutlets, totaling about $26.00 - I only bought a pound. A few other things and we were on our way home. I couldn't wait, I was totally inspired by my new project.

I put on my new apron (Xmas present from my mama) and it was GO TIME. No need to really go into details from this point forward but the whole meal was a total f***ing disaster. FAIL. BIG TIME. VEAL FAIL. I followed the recipe like it said to but something about the way the veal was floating/boiling in about 1/2 cup of white wine and 1/4 cup of beef broth just didn't do it for us. It basically boiled veal cutlets into tiny pieces of ass that you could have made a a leather purse out of. I sat and studied the recipe over and over, made my husband read it, called my mother, and still have no real conclusion on why it turned out so incredibly inedible.

We ordered pizza that night.

La Cucina - 1
Me - 0

I took the day off yesterday from cooking and went to catch a movie with my girlfriends. we settled on grilled steaks and asparagus last night too as that falls more into my husbands department. I needed to give him an opportunity to fail too so I could potentially even the score but he cooked my steak to perfection.

So, here we are. Sunday - the day of the big meals and I'm gearing up for round 2. Literally when I close this laptop I'm venturing back into the kitchen to take on some Canneloni with meat sauce. If I screw this one up I may retire from my quest and whip up a chicken fried steak or something. Bring me back to MY roots. If I succeed we'll all raise a glass of spumante, the drinking kind. ;)

Bring it, La Cucina!

Adios 2009...!

2009-12-31T16:05:00.000-06:00

2009 was an alright year. Admittedly I'm ready for 2010. It seemed like 2009 was just kind of depressing or something. Not as much for me on a personal level but in general it just seemed like sad things happened. People died, got sick, suffered...and I realize that is just like any year but in my eyes it seemed to happen closer to me. A wonderful person lost a husband, a mom and dad a child, a best friend a grandmother. Losing my baby cousin is still so fresh to all of us. My Aunt and Uncle were in Mexico on a beach this Christmas, deservedly so, trying to forget that the holiday season was upon us. I try not to focus on the past, and the things that we cannot change, but I do have to reflect on the heavy heart that I carried for several people this year.

I am blessed too, and that is something NOT to be overlooked! My beautiful, healthy child is getting bigger, smarter, and full of more attitude every day. My husband is amazing and we are continuing working together daily to make our lives better for each other. I love my family, everyone is safe and sound in their own places in life and I love each of them so so much. Friends are amazing and I could never make it without them. I got an awesome job in a shitty economy. We have a child on the way, what more could one girl ask for? I mean, really. Blessed beyond measure.

It's important to keep it all in perspective, weigh the good with the bad, and promise yourself to cherish it. I'm looking forward to tonight, surrounding myself with best friends and good food, closing the last page of the year. We'll toast the good, and we might even flip off the bad.

Bienvenidos 2010!!!

Warm Whispers...

2009-12-24T11:31:00.003-06:00

Awhile ago I posted about a supposed 'FORK' in the road of my life. Decisions were to be made about whether or not we would try for a second baby. Collectively we could come up with so many reasons NOT to, and so many reasons why we absolutely should.

Months passed, and I could never close the door. Even when we both agreed that we were blessed with one beautiful child and that was enough I wasn't completely at peace. My husband knew all along, he just said he wanted to wait for me to come around at my own time. He knows me a little too well.

We decided to try again, giving ourselves through Christmas. If nothing happened by then we knew that that was our sign, and I convinced myself I'd be okay with that.

We're pregnant.

Again!!!

I'm actually about 14 1/2 weeks along but have been keeping things between family and friends until I hit the 12 week mark and told my boss. Both of equal importance!

This time around is so different. I still have been barfing a bit, but not near as much as with Brooklyn. I haven't gained any weight, in fact, I've lost 5 lbs. I did do that with her too so I'm not worried about it, and trust me, I am eating. I think that because I've been there done that I am not nearly as fixated on EVERY LITTLE DETAIL or already experiencing the anxiety of having to BIRTH a child. That thought absolutley terrified me. It, physically, didn't make sense to me. Watermelon. Lemon. TERROR. My husband is blissfully happy with this 2nd pregnancy as I'm not near as much of a crazy bitch, not yet at least, and I'm not screaming at him that WE HAVE TO READ PAGE 32 in the pregnancy bible book because OMG WE'RE 14 WEEKS AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!! (break down sob fest). See, the first pregnancy was definitely different.

In fact, I have to remind myself I'm pregnant most days. Chasing a 15 month old around is basically like owning exercise equipment and on top of that I keep my normal pace I always have. I get in trouble and my husband literally forces me to sit down and rest. My body feels it though, and this little baby sends me subtle reminds he/she is there. Warm Whispers to take care of him/her, slow down, stay healthy, rest, and GET READY.

We are so blessed this Christmas to be surrounded by our amazing family and friends, and to know that another little life is soon on the way. I am very thankful...

Merry Christmas! Happy Festivus! Hannukkah! Whatever it is you celebrate, CHEERS.

This definitely sucks.

2009-12-17T14:03:00.005-06:00

Brooklyn's school handed us a letter yesterday that informed us it will be closing on:

December 23, 2009.

Next week. Next Wednesday. Done. I took her to her classroom, got back in my car and cried like a big baby. I loved her school, her teachers, the curriculum, the LOCATION. I couldn't believe it but at the end of the day it was this stupid economy's fault. Their enrollment had dropped 25% in the last year which totals about $600k in revenue over a years time. They just explained that many parents had been laid off and no longer needed to have someone look after their little ones. Sucks all the way around. But the timing, the timing REALLY sucked. And the notice? Ahem, what notice?

I suppose there was not much to be done there though. Had they given us more of an advance we would have yanked our kids out earlier and they would have gone into even more debt.

So, news broke. It sucked. I cried.

Put my big girl pants back on and realized this was a solvable problem. We got on the phone and secured a few places that had 1 or 2 openings in her age classroom and as of this morning my husband had already toured, got reviews, and wrote a registration check. Crisis averted, I suppose. The location is on his way to work, not mine, but it will only really be inconvenient when he travels. The school is very well known for having a great program put together and he seems to think that she'll do great there. Mama still needs to pay a visit just to double check but I think we got lucky. There are 150 stray kids that need a new home now and I know we got in this new school right in time.

When I first got used to the idea of Brooklyn being in someone elses care I still had crazy anxiety that it would all be okay. After a few weeks it was, and I never looked back. We're starting over again and I'm sure it will all work out just fine.

It could always be worse and I know this. I could be having to figure out how to cover the $900k that Kids R Kids is now in debt, but someone else has that worry this holiday season. And that, my friends, REALLY sucks.

...and UGLY it was.

2009-12-15T16:23:00.003-06:00

Our Ugly Christmas party was a success. As my dear friend KQ put it on her FB status update:

"you know it was a good party when everyone needs asprin the next morning, you go home in someone else's shoes, and you are drinking out of cups that say 'happy birthday jesus'. Good times!!! XOXOXO to all the partay peeps"

Pretty much sums up the night. Everyone brought their A game of ugly Christmas attire:

The white elephant gift exhange was a success:

Cookie decorating, not so much:

It's boring to act like adults all the time, right?

Happy Birthday JESUS!!!!

It's about to get UGLY...

2009-12-12T12:36:00.000-06:00

Our annual Christmas party is tonight, this years theme:

UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS

Really anything throwback is acceptable, bedazzled shirts, sweater vests with snowmen, a dickey like our good friend Eddy sported in Christmas vacation.

We're busy putting the finishing touches on the house, prepping the food. This years menu:

Lil smokies wrapped in bacon and topped with brown sugar
Tomato, Corn, and Avacado Salsa served with tortilla chips
French baguettes with creamy dill and cucumber spread
Pickled asparagus wrapped with chive cream cheese and proscuitto
Cheese plate w/crackers and grapes
Downeast Maine Pumpkin bread
Homeade sugar cookies

Lots and lots of alcohol.

Happy Holidays everyone, wish us luck!

Okay, so I'm not perfect.

2009-12-09T11:08:00.001-06:00

It was my turn to pick up B yesterday from school. We love where she goes, her teachers, the facility, she comes home every week and it seems she has learned something new.

I walked into her classroom last night and her teacher was sitting there with the other kiddos, but no Brooklyn. She let me know one of the other teachers had gone home early so B was up front with Kathie (the owner) in her office to make sure the kid/teacher ratio was in tact. So, I head her way and notice that Kathie has two parents, two other kiddos, and Brooklyn all in her office. I opened the door to interupt and Brooklyn comes running towards me 'Mama, mama, mama' and she is showing me something in her hand. I look closely and she has two thumbtacks so proudly displayed in her palm. I calmly grab them from her and hand them to Kathie and give her a WTF look. You could tell she was mortified, the other parents didn't even look up and I walked out without really saying anything.

Fast forward to conversation at home with the hubster:

D: How was B's day?
H: Good, she was in Kathie's office when I went to get her, one of her teachers had to leave early.
H: When I got her...she...uh...had two thumbtacks in her hand.
D: What the f***? She had what? She could have swallowed those, what the hell are they thinking. We pay them too much money for that shit to happen...
H: And she was in a parent meeting.
H: And there were two other kids in there.
D: WHAT THE HELL. That's it, I'm saying something first thing in the morning. That's bullshit.
H: It was an honest mistake....
D: Bullshit. Unacceptable.

While I know my husband is right, for some reason last night I just didn't say anything. I walked out, she was okay, not hurt, and I do sometimes understand that these things happen. I'm all about protecting my child but I suppose I'm more forgiving when I know the situation is already diffused. But, he's right. It's unacceptable.

First thing this morning he dropped her off, went straight into Kathie's office and let her know we felt and it will never happen again. She apologized and ensured Dom that we won't ever need to worry, she was very sorry, etc...everything you'd expect to hear. I genuinely believe her, so does Dom, and everything is on track and back to normal.

I am glad my husband is the way he is. He never hesitatates to say something, in any situation, and he's very good about getting things taken care of. I sort of regret not saying something now that I look back but appreciate my the hubs picking up my slack.

Been there before or are you PERFECT? :)

Gratitude

2009-12-07T09:38:00.001-06:00

There are a lot of things that can stop me in my tracks and me feel every bit vulnerable and emotional. There are the typical things, a song, a moment in time, a sad story, a happy story, a Folgers commercial...okay so I'm one level of stable above that - but in general you could classify me as one of those people that get moved by things.

I can be very cynical, and real too. In fact, one of my favorite past times is getting together with my close friends and just having those call it like we see it kind of conversations. Many times this may involve some serious shit talking, but hey, what are friends for.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, I took my child, loaded up the mom car and picked up the grandparents to hit up the local Chuy's parade - kids giving to kids. If you don't know what Chuy's is, look it up and figure out a way to get a hold of the jalapeno ranch. You can thank me later for changing your life. The concept is genius, it's a toy drive where kids bring a gift to the parade and fill the beds of Chevrolet trucks to the brim, for other kids.

Brooklyn is too young to get this but we headed out with our Play-doh gift in hand anyway as I wanted her to just experience the scene and see the floats. I mean we're talking Macy's parade runner up floats here -look at the enthusiasm! ;)

So the motorcycles kick it off, we're clapping, dancing, waving, and the crowd is collectively enjoying it. Kids everywhere, smiling, feeling every bit of that magic of the holidays. We were near the front of the parade and I noticed that one of the next floats in line was a group of men and women representing our troops. Suddenly it just seemed like the entire crowd shifted focus and it was no longer about the parade, the kids, the toys, but it was about stopping to honor our heroes. As they made their way down the street everyone stood up, waving, cheering, and clapping. I have no idea what came over me as this is the behavior we should see in one another but it's like I felt this wave of gratitude hit everyone at once and it completely got me. It could have turned into a big ol' sobfest, hot mess, but I held it together.

It was one of those had to be there moments, but I suppose that morning I woke up vulnerable to feel everything. It was just nice to see literally everyone on the same page for one small moment in time, appreciating, giving thanks, and feeling every bit of grateful for what these people have sacrificed. All political bullshit aside, it was about gratitude. Spend a minute today and be grateful for something.

Sdoft and Gen-dle

2009-12-03T16:11:00.001-06:00

We had an awesome Turkey day, stuffing our face with lots of good food, compliments of some amazing chef I know. Ahem. We started the prep on Wednesday night and I had full intentions of capturing all the details a la photograph but all I got was this one:

They were damn good deviled eggs too.

The rest of the time off we spent with family, enjoying the change in the holiday season as we are now fully launched into xmas mode. All decorations are up, music is on, and we even have a print out of ABC's 25 days of Christmas because yes, we are that cool.

Brooklyn has been suprisingly good with the Christmas tree, full of bright white lights, sparkling red and silver balls, different ornaments we picked up over the last few years representing us and what we love the most. We got her a stuffed snowman with the word 'Noel' on his tummy, that's her ornament she can take on and off the tree. On and off. On and off. On and off. On and off. On and off. Exhausted yet? SHE's NOT! On and off. On and off......

Brooklyn's ornament

I decided to teach her to be soft with the tree. I took her hand and lightly rubbed her face, then mine, and whispered, soft. We then sat by the tree and did the same thing, and I said soft, gentle. Now, anytime she looks at it, or goes near it she whispers sdoft, gen-dle, and barely touches the branches or other ornaments. My husband is amazed and I tell him it's my mad parenting skills.

It's been really cold here too, which for me, adds to the whole Christmas spirit. I'm talking 40's people which for those of us in Texas is sub zero temperatures. Our "winter" coats are for style, not warmth so there are a bunch of us walking around freezing our asses off. Possible snow flurries tommorow too which if that happens will most likely mean day off at which point I promise to do the Carlton in celebration. It snowed a lot, once, when I was about 5 or 6. It was magical, and all I remember is my dad sending me flying down the neighbors driveway in a beer cooler. That experience was not sdoft, nor gen-dle, but it was fun.

Prepping

2009-11-23T16:37:00.000-06:00

22 lbs of meat is defrosting in my refrigerator. I gave my potatoes a trial run last night for the hubs and I...new recipe that actually will NOT make it to the table Thursday. Sticking to what I know, which are good ol' fashioned mashed potatoes with tons of butter, sour cream, garlic, and salt, which are clearly low fat. When you are cooking to impress my normal consciousness of nutritional value goes out the door. I'm all kinds of Paula Dean up in here.

And I have to be, you know why? Because ALL of my grandparents are coming. The matriarchs of Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners will be there, including my own mother. My dad's mom, God love her (or something), is always one for a comment. You know, the subtle dig with the high pitched voice and smile to tag along just to let you know it was okay, but not quite right. My mom's dad who I absolutely love, we call him Captain Rick, who will drink straight vodka with lime the moment he arrives only to either continue to comment about how good the food is or say nothing at all. Which again will signify success or failure. Then my Nana (mom's mom) is coming who is essentially Betty Crocker. No seriously, she is. And her house is always spotless, bushes trimmed to perfection, everything with her outfit coordinates, mother f'in pressure is on. Then as mentioned my parents who are both damn good cooks, and of course my brothers. I'm not worried about those two, the fact that they are not going through the drive thru to eat that day nor spending their own money is considered an all around win for them. Plus, I'll have beer and wine - for free. Another win.

Please pray, light a candle, something for my turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, deviled eggs, cornbread, and rolls. The cranberry is coming straight out the can so if that screws up the store brand distributors can suck it.

Okay so in all seriousness, I am thankful. Very thankful to have family close enough to pay a visit, thankful for my brothers coming into town, my parents, my husband, my daughter, my friends...my list goes on but the point is BE thankful. Take your moment wherever you are and reflect on what you have. Time here is precious and no matter what bullshit or hardship circulates in our lives there is always time to stop and give thanks. We put our Christmas decorations up early this year so that our house would be all the more cozy when everyone is over. We just started putting the tree up and I caught this:

and NOTHING makes me more thankful.

Email FWD:

2009-11-19T11:22:00.000-06:00

This came to me from my mother this morning, and she said 'You better not show Dom!' Ah, parental humor, gotta love it.

HOW PUMPKIN PIE IS MADE:

My husband loves pumpkin pie.

Face plant.

2009-11-16T10:58:00.002-06:00

You should see the other kid...

Okay, okay. So technically Brooklyn got in a fight with the pavement, not another kiddo. She was pushing something at school that decided to take off without her and the first thing to hit the ground was that poor little nose of hers. Ouch!

"I was country, when country wasn't cool..."

2009-11-12T16:21:00.004-06:00

I heard that song last night while watching the CMA's and I can't stop singing it.

I was born in Texas. We have a ranch that has been in our family for years, we grew up hunting, fishing, bailing hay, watching big Texas thunderstorms roll in from the front porch. I've helped my dad run cattle through pens, fed a calf with a bottle, caught my first striper (that's a fish, not a misspelled word!) when I was 8, eaten lots of deer meat, dove, etc...

I'm country.
Or Southern.
Or something.

Let's say Southern, for some reason there is a necessary level of sophistication to go along with that. Again, Or something. It might be worth mentioning before I freak some of you out that I AM college educated, have traveled quite a bit (see Greece pic below, with camo pants I might add), love stiletto's, wine, fine dining, etc...but can also load a shotgun or shoot a crossbow. Mkay? Moving on...

My parents were hippies too though, loved themselves some classic rock and roll, smoked cigarettes on the curb at school, long hair, dad with the sideburns, you know "age of aquarius" type of stuff.So, growing up I got it all. Country, southern rock, even a little blues now and then. It's all stuck with me and I'm grateful for the exposure but nothing brings me closer to home than some good ol' country music.

The first song I learned to sing along to was Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers - "Islands in the Stream." Hell yeah - you know what I"m talking about.....(cricket sounds)...uh...right? I know just about every George Jones, Conway Twitty, Roseanne Cash, Charlie Daniels, Willie Nelson, Alabama, Restless Heart, George Strait, The Judds, Reba song out there. From the 80's, 90's, and on into today I know country music. It's part of me and I love it.

Being married to an Italian guy from New York poses quite the combination of musical interests as mentioned in my last post. When we got together he NEVER listened to country. He had that stereotypical twang "my dog ran away, my wife left, shoot my gun, where's my whiskey" idea of what country music was. Since then, well, he's changed a lot. It relaxes him, he says. And, well, he's been around my family now long enough to know he better like it. I'm talking Willie Nelson CD's play on Christmas Eve while my brothers where their camo coveralls around.

Living in a live music capital there is such a variety of music, a lot of alternatives, and haters of country music. At one point in my life I think I would even play down how much I loved it, trying to do the whole 'fit-in' as a freshman nightmare. OMG how exhausting. Moved long past that and last night while watching the CMA's it truly dawned on me that I was country, when country wasn't cool.

Yes, that is a budweiser hat and a coors light in my hand.

Mood

2009-11-11T11:24:00.001-06:00

Today I find myself in a mood. A certain mood that I love when I get in, it's neither bad nor extremely good, it's somewhere in between. When I get like this I typically keep to myself more than normal and I listen to music. I used to always turn to music when I needed to reflect, feel, just be. I would use lyrics to describe where I was, what I was feeling, relate, gain a sense of comfort knowing someone else captured my exact moment and put it into words better than I could.

When my husband and I first started dating we would stay up for HOURS drinking wine and listening to a million different songs, old and new, and telling stories as to why they were so important. Me more than him but it was a way of getting to know one another beyond what we had already discovered.

I feel a sense of peace, contentment, just being. I think so many things, LIFE, happen so fast all around when you get a moment to just literally 'be' you should cherish it. My mind and my body seem to hardly allow for that anymore...so today, I take advantage of my mood.

My background music for the day seems to indicate I'm getting into that holiday spirit, and all the love and warmth that comes with.

What's yours?

I'd post the pictures from the zoo....

2009-11-09T15:16:00.003-06:00

...except I don't have any. Because I flew solo and apparently am not skilled enough to do it ALL. The hubs was out of down last week, Thursday - Sunday, but that's no excuse to slow me and the little one down from being social now is it? Saturday morning I decided to pack it up and meet one of my very best friends at the zoo in San Antonio. She lives in Htown but was down visiting her SUPER PREGO sister and her two gorgeous girls. My girlfriend, Perri, has two kids of her own, and it's worth mentioning her parents and grandparents were there also. Quite the partaaay!

I left my house at 8:30 Saturday morning which in and of itself is borderline miraculous. Not that we don't do this on any given weekday, but moving that fast on Saturday too, yeah I know, pat on the back to me. Diaper bag packed, sippy cups, snacks, toys for the drive, the stroller, basics covered. Grabbed the camera too because I'm a good mom like that. Ya know, capturing the moments.

I made it on time and we got the crazy train going. Brooklyn was in the stroller, had the camera out ready and waiting and off we went. This was her 3rd trip to a zoo - the Austin zoo was just hot and lame, and she was too little to care when we took her to the Central Park zoo. First stop was the monkeys, which she absolutely loved since every animal sound we ask her to make is a monkey. We ventured into the aquarium section next and all she kept saying loudly over and over was "WHOA!" On to the a cave like structure to see the hippo's and alligators, and that's when it all started to fall apart. A mobile 14 month old with so much stimulation surrounding is OVER the stroller. Especially when she's the youngest of the 5 kiddos and everyone else is walking around. So, I made the mistake of letting her get down and that's when it was all over. One arm pushing the stroller, chasing her, picking her back up, pulling her off of things to climb, whoops there goes the sippy cup, "Brooklyn stop!", damn, I forgot the stroller!, shit my iPhone is sitting out in the cup holder!, etc...

I would entice her with crackers and LIFE cereal to get back in the stroller only to realize the next few exhibits she couldn't see unless I got her out and held her up to see the big animals. Damnit. But, that part was totally worth it as she yet again kept saying 'WHOA!' and then did her version of a roar when we saw the lions. She whispers it, have no idea where she got that from.

Needless to say by the time we left the zoo my hair was pulled up, I was sweating, the stroller was covered with crumbs, and I had a tired pup on my hands. Was so fun and so worth it, but: NOT ONE SINGLE FREAKIN PICTURE. Because yeah, like I said, I apparently am not talented enough to figure out how in the hell to manage that. I've said this before but again, hats off to single parents.

Anyone good at photoshop? ;)

Cheesy McCheester, and then some.

2009-11-04T12:55:00.004-06:00

Yes I did change my blog background for Halloween, and yes I did it again for November, and oh I cannot wait for the Christmas holiday. It just might sing and light up - Griswold is in the house.

Raise your hand if you like cheesy!

Anywho - I felt like I was on a roll with posting, a couple posts a week is 'on a roll' in my world. Then bam, fell off a cliff, hit a wall, thinking I am lame and have nothing fun to say. That always bring me back to why I started this here blog in the first place, to keep my grandma (Nana) updated with pictures and stories of Brooklyn. So, as the new saying goes, "when you hit a wall, post for grandma." (More cheese!)

We had a great Halloween, although it came and went as quick as it started. Brooklyn was a pumpkin but wasn't interested. We took her to a pumpkin ~~parking lot~~ patch but she wasn't too interested in that either. The bean bag toss, however, ding ding ding - we have a winner.

Sunday of this last weekend we took her a new park just build near our house and I learned that my child literally has NO FEAR. I knew this already I think but it was 100% confirmed. With no help from her us she flew down the slide. There I was too, ready and waiting to help and be the hero/safety net. Who are you? GET OUT MY WAY!

I should clarify something. She has no fear but she is aware of crazy. And how to stay away from it. Demonstrated in the below pictures, she is all to aware of the weirdo behind the big dog head. "Hmmm, he's not Mickey or any of his friends, Pooh, a Disney Princess...STRANGER DANGER!" That's my girl.

Okay Nana, hope you enjoyed the update. I'll be back soon, mwah!

HATS.

2009-10-27T21:27:00.000-05:00

Her latest obsession. And yes, that last one is a camouflage hat, compliments of her Uncle. And yes, she only has on a diaper and socks. At least she's trying to accessorize!

Apple Crumb FAIL

2009-10-26T16:49:00.003-05:00

I think I've mentioned this before - I like to cook, it relaxes me. So, in the spirit of the holiday season approaching I decided to bake an apple crumb pie on Sunday. Thanksgiving is at our house again this year, audience includes my MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER, both who kick Betty Crocker's ass.

So, I must practice.

I found a great recipe, picked up everything I needed while at the grocery store on Saturday, and even researched how to do a lattice. Yes, yes I did just use the word lattice and I answer to 'Chef.'

Okay I'll admit, I scatched the lattice - that's only for the big time.

First step was to peel and slice the apples. Done. Easy. Put the slices in a bowl of water to avoid browning. Moved on to the sugary coating. Done. Made the crumb pieces out of cinnamon, brown sugar, and butter. Done. Put applies in pie crust, added crumb topping, BAM, in the oven to bake for an hour.

SUPER easy but I threw a little flour on my face anyway for dramatic effect.

40 minutes into it I check on my pie. Hmmmm. Something just doesn't look right, at all. I pull the pie out of the oven and it has literally turned into apple soup. THE SLICES WERE FLOATING. I suppose this had something to do with me soaking the slices in a bowl of water. Who the hell knew? (If you do, shut it.)

FAIL.

Less space, less things, more life.

2009-10-23T10:24:00.001-05:00

My hubs was traveling this week for work, so what does that mean to me - time to catch up on some Oprah after mom duties cease. Or, Umpa Humphrey as my dear friend calls her. No idea where he got that but it sticks, doesn't it?

One of her shows this week profiled the happiest people in the world and my conclusion after watching is that we're moving to Denmark. To be specific, Copenhagen.

There is a huge emphasis on family, but not from the outside looking in, rather the inside looking out. No one seems to be 'keeping up with the Joneses' as we often say here in the states. They choose a more simplistic approach and genuinely focus on the relationships rather than status. They are modern people with nice things, just not in excess.

Less space, less things, more life.

They are extremely environmentally conscious, 1/3 of the population rides their bike around the city, often times with fresh groceries for the evening in tow. Homelessness, poverty, and unemployment are also rare - if you lose your job the government pays 90% of your salary for four years! Say wah? Oh, and healthcare is free. Oh, and you get paid to go to University when you graduate high school and tuition is free. As if that's not enough they take special interest in mama's and their babies. Women typically get 6 to 12 months of PAID maternity leave! Here it seems we fight for 6 to maybe 12 weeks. On the flip side of that they don't put too much emphasis on getting married/having babies - everyone following a certain mold. They encourage people to be whatever they want, no need to label just be happy. One woman said they leave their babies in carriages outside of cafes when they sleep, it's completely safe. She'd never heard of anyone harming a child. No such thing as sex offenders, in fact, she looked at Oprah like she was crazy for asking. Seems hard to believe considering you can run a search within 5 miles of any zip code here in the states and up pops a long list of crazies.

Lastly, and possibly the most important note, they apparently have this bread - RugbrØd that is to die for. Oprah says so at least, and if she says it, BELIEVE IT.

The place fascinated me and I think somehow worked it's magic as I was in a great mood after watching. Now, I realize this is a 'show' but I'm sold. Don't know about you but it sounds like they are doing something right. I'm adding this to my list of places I must visit, oh, and I sent hubby a text to find a job there. :)

Wanna go?

KID car.

2009-10-20T21:36:00.007-05:00

We took at little road trip this weekend to visit my bad ass brother that plays football at ACU.

Last year was cake as Brooklyn was 6 weeks old. This year, not so much, and I learned a little some about myself: I officially have KID CAR.

First of all, my SUV (mom car) has two captains chairs in the middle, then a very back seat that can fold down. It gets folded down for all the shit we bring with us now. It honestly looks like we are moving when in reality we are leaving for ONE night. Let me repeat, ONE NIGHT.

There is a giant bag of toys that sits between the captains chairs. Giant bag'o'toys is supposed to be a life saver when the little one wakes up but all I find is that she gets bored, quickly, with pushing buttons that make safari sounds. She looks at me as if to say, 'listen crazy bitch if you ask me what a monkey sounds like one more time I WILL CUT YOU!' So, said bag of toys ends up all over the floorboard, and then some.

Snacks. Road trips have a plethera of snacks but not the good ol' bag of beef jerky like we used to have. It's more crackers, fruit, etc...of which suddently seem to turn her into the HULK and she crushes anything and everything I put in her little hand. It's like those confetti eggs we all hated, but instead of paper it's made of mushy food. Her car seat and my floor with covered with crumbs. Awesome.

I can admit this, I'm not scurred. I used to walk by peoples cars that I could tell had kids and think, 'OMG look at that dump. Pick up your shit and quit letting your kids take over your life.' I know, slap slap to me. Just thought some were too lazy for their own good, and still do, but have a fresh perspective on what ~~monsters~~ kiddos can do to/in the back seats.

Terrorize
Spill
Crumble
Throw
Destroy

...in the first 30 minutes.

For every 30 minute interval double the size of KID CAR that is happening. We were on the road collectively for 7 hours this last weekend. You do the math.

F'ing disaster.

I cleaned it out when we got home because I didn't want mistakenly start being filmed for the next crazy freakshow hoarders episode.

Moms and Dads I was better than, yeah...sorry about that. You can stop stabbing the voodoo doll now though, I get it. I have KID car now too.

Shoes

2009-10-15T15:01:00.001-05:00

I love shoes. I do. I mean I LOVE SHOES like I could marry them type of love. You can have on any outfit, put on the right pair of heels, flip flops, boots, wedge, sandal, and ta-da, you are FABULOUS.

I also firmly believe they set a tone. If you walk into a room with a rockin' pair of heels on people notice them and it says confidence. If you have on a wedge that is classy, but soft, you look sophisticated yet relaxed. Flip flop - lazy, fun, carefree, and ready to drink some beer. Boots mean the seasons are changing and it's time for some comfy sweaters and fantastic accessories. Shoes are awesome people, AWESOME.

That's why I owe 65+ pairs. Some of you may gasp because you think what the hell, that is too many and others may gasp and think oh my god that poor girl has no shoes. Whatever side you are on, just know that I know you have your own vices, mkay?

Insert life change - I had a daughter.

What does this mean? MORE SHOES!!! Her very first pair were a little ballerina slip-on that were leopard print with a tiny pink bow. Let's see, as a newborn she wore them NEVER. Because no one told me as a new mom that those things would not stay on unless you superglued them to their tiny little feet. They are proudly on display in her room though. Next in line is pair of pink cowboy boots that I bought while pregnant that she can't wear until she's about 2 - whatever, minor detail. She got a pair of black patent dress shoes for her first Christmas pictures. When I put them on with her dress they just didn't work so she went barefoot and those were worn NEVER. Over the summertime I bought her flip flops with a strap on the back. Worn NEVER because she was too fascinated with the piece that went between her toes, apparently she couldn't walk. What is the damn deal? When is my daughter going to learn that being stylish isn't always easy. GAWH!

Okay Brooklyn ~~grandma~~ - let's go for functional. I broke down and bought several pairs of Robeez, which while definitely functional they are not so cute. I mean, unless her boot cut jeans cover half of them up. But, they worked, she walked in shoes, and we're all good.

She's had those for several weeks and I decided last night with her upcoming fall festival, trip to see her Uncle this weekend, and the holidays around the corner we need to graduate back into fashionista. I bought her two pairs of boots and some fun sneakers for schools. The boots fa-reak-ing rock.

I put the black pair on her this morning with some leggings and I swear she stood there frozen, then picked up each leg as if I had tied a concrete block to the bottom of her foot. FINE! Robeez it is but when we get home the boots are back on for practice.

Judging me yet, I thought so. ;)

Trust me, I want what's best for my daughter, I really do. And what's best, is good taste in shoes. There is hope, though, as she loves my closet and tries to put mine on all the time. Except we really have to work on that look. She looks like she wants to choke somebody.

Sigh, baby steps.

Hope squared

2009-10-13T09:06:00.000-05:00

I can't sew, but I wonder if it's time I learn. I'll add it to my "list" of things to accomplish that just stares and haunts me. I know some of you can though, and my friend over at chikaustin needs you! I've mentioned Jade in previous posts, but just to refresh she is the founder of Craft Hope:

-"a love inspired project designed to share handmade crafts with those less fortunate. It is our hope to combine our love for crafting and desire to help others into a project to make a difference around the world."

They just announced Project #5 - Margaret's Hope Chest. The mission is to provide handmade quilts to homeless children in the public school system in Detroit for the Christmas season. Craft hope is teaming up with Margaret’s Hope Chest, a quilting non-profit organization that serves other people in seemingly hopeless situations.

"They strive to share with people around the world the HOPE that they have been given. Over the past two years they have given over 100 quilts to children, adults, families, and organizations. Each quilt has joined a journey- a journey of sickness, death, abuse, fire, disease, disability, or new beginning."

If you are interested in helping, please visit Craft Hope for all of the details from Jade. Their tagline is spreading seeds of hope one stitch at a time, and as I've mentioned before, I'll just be a planter.

For you, punkin.

2009-10-09T15:27:00.002-05:00

I'm wearing a scarf today. Nevermind that it's super thin, orange and grey striped, and matches a little too well my orange super thin pretend sweater. Blue jeans and my super sexy fun Gianni Bini brown boots. Yeah that's right people, a cold front blew into Texas and it's 58 degress - sweater weather in the south. Yeehaw.

I love this time of year, but only really when the weather starts to turn. We have to take full advantage of these days too because I think it's literally supposed to be back up to 90 by next weekend. Gross.

I'm envious of the places that have a real FALL season. In my mind I can see the fall like colors, leaves turning, feel the brisk air, smell the warm comfort foods...and then I go to flip on the a/c and it's an instant dream killer.

Not this weekend though, it's supposed to stay on the cooler side. I can't wait to lounge around my house in my fat clothes and do a whole lot of nothing. We are going to get out Sunday though and join some friends to take kiddos to a pumpkin patch at Sweet Berry Farms. I'm a little excited about this, I've always wanted to have a little one to dress up all warm and take out to pick out a pumpkin. Fun family memory to make. You know, like the Griswold's and their Christmas tree. We'll get to that in a few months I suppose.

In the spirit of the cool weather, the pumpkins, and the turn of the season I'm going to bake some pumpkin bread this weekend and thought I'd share the recipe. If it doesn't taste good it's clearly your fault. :)

1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
3 cups white sugar
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

DIRECTIONS

1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour three 7x3 inch loaf pans.

2.In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until well blended. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into the prepared pans.

3.Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

This is the low fat version kids, wink, so get on your snuggie and enjoy!

Bad Hair nap

2009-10-08T08:58:00.000-05:00

I feel ya girl, bad hair days suck.

Watch me grow

2009-10-06T10:06:00.002-05:00

There is this super nifty little thing that Brooklyn's school has that allows me to log in and watch her via video stream throughout the day. It's called 'Watch me grow.' This is beneficial for many reasons,

a.) I can see what they are doing at any time which prevents any weirdo's from getting away with stuff they shouldn't.
b.) Allows me to see how she's interacting, if she's sleeping when she normally would be, eating, playing well, etc...
c.) Keeps me somewhat connected to her even though she doesn't know it, and helps feed that curiousity of 'what the hell is my child doing all day!?'
d.) Makes me insanely jealous and sometimes borderline emotional wreck for my work environment.

I'm sure d. comes primarily at the same time every month when my raging hormones are just being on their best behavior. The same timeframe where I cuss, scream, and cry about nothing important all in a matter of minutes. You know, when my husband loves me the most and thinks I make perfect sense. Wink, wink.

She just transitioned into her 3rd classroom this week. She started there in the baby room, moved into the 2nd classroom, and now that she's hit a year old is moving again to bigger and better places with new friends to make and different teachers. This new classroom requires them to wear shoes every day. This is symbolic because we are definitely starting to get away from a wardrobe of cute onesies to actual outfits (shoes-score!). She gets to listen to Spanish, play in sandboxes, sit at mini-tables with matching mini-chairs, do arts and crafts, play ~~fight~~ with friends, and GROW.

...And I get to watch. It's truly bittersweet being a working mama.

I'm alive!!!

2009-10-04T16:07:00.002-05:00

Okay yeah, wow. That kicked my ass for realz. The flu sucks, go get your shot if you haven't already. Unless I suppose you like running 101+ fever and feeling like someone has beat the crap out of you, plus coughing, plus snot, knocked on your rear for 4 straight days. Up to you, I'm just sayin.'

It really put a cramp in my whole update the blog with fun weekend pics plan I had on Sunday. So, let's just rewind and pretend last weekend just ended, mkay. Mkay.

Because I work for a really cool company I had a ticket to see George Straight on Friday night. Said cool company actually had a suite stocked with food and adult beverages. Yet another cool move. I was on my best behavior since I was flying solo for a little while, then that got boring and the fun began.

On Saturday we welcomed another woman into our house. Dear blog world, meet my husband's new mistress.

Yeah, he actually said if the cup holders were any smaller I'd need to worry. YEAP. He said that. Because men say and think those things. He has been talking about this car for ~~eternity~~ awhile now and I think when he signed he papers that day slid into spot numero uno for the best day of his life. Brooklyn slid into 2nd, and our wedding day 3rd. If the Jets happen to win the superbowl I'll be in 4th. He spent the majority of the weekend out in the garage reading about it's 100 million features and gadgets. He's washed it at least 3 times this week, bragged about it to some random stranger at the Dr.'s office, and on Friday when we talked at lunch he was at Target buying car wax.

Total affair.

Okay so secretly I'm happy to have her in our life. He works hard and deserves it. And ultimately if she takes up too much time I will most definitely win. "What scratch honey?"

Fast forward to this weekend and it was full of fun too. Once I recovered I was ready to get out of my house. We had tickets to ACL fest so we grabbed a sitter for Friday night and went to listen to great live music and drink some beers. We met up with our rockstar friends Carrie & Audrey, saw John Legend and Kings of Leon.

It's been an awesome rainy weekend and I'm finally finishing this blog post. Started Friday but what the heck. Jumbalaya in the crock pot and football on the big screen, and I get to hang out with that little shit below. Feels good to be alive again.

Temporarily out of service

2009-09-30T14:13:00.000-05:00

This blog is temporarily out of service as I am busy getting my ass kicked by the flu. Be back soon I hope!

The GAP.

2009-09-24T15:10:00.007-05:00

When Brooklyn was 3 months old I swore she was teething. Drooling, grabbing ears, runny nose - all the things I read in the books. Yeah, the books that tell you how to be a mom. Another topic filed in the "my mom was right file." Those books are useless.

Anywho, she really actually started teething around 8 months old. We are spoiled, when she goes down for bed, she goes to bed. The night we were 45 minutes into the someone is clearly beating me tantrum where she held on to the side of her crib and rocked forward and backward and forward and backward FOR THE LOVE OF GOD someone please save me from this torture - we knew she was teething.

Since then, it's one after the other. Girl has got some chompers. She also has A...

wait for it....

wait for it....

GAP!!!

I don't know if it's just her age, and they'll grow closer together, or if we're stuck with the goofy space that I suppose adds character? Yeah right. Answer me honestly - when you see someone with a huge gap in their teeth, do you automatically think 'smarts.'? Yeah, didn't think so. I've just never been a fan of the people with gaps in their teeth (no offense) but it's not like I can freakin fix it.

Ahh, vanity.

On my birthday we...

2009-09-22T09:53:00.001-05:00

Looked adorable...

Ate lots of yummy food...

Enjoyed delicious cupcakes!

Opened lots of presents...

Enjoyed time with friends and family...

Had an awesome day!

Don't be tardy for the party!

2009-09-17T15:21:00.007-05:00

If any of you watch Housewives of Atlanta (and if you don't, omg what the hell - start watching now!), then you'll understand the reference to the title and we can talk about the awesome hot mess horridness of that later.
This weekend I'm throwing Brooklyn's 1st birthday party. Even though her actual day came and went, girl still needs a celebration, right? And, with scheduling conflicts like opening day of dove season (yes, that's my family), and football (priorities people, priorities!), the 19th seemed to work for everyone.

Enter, operation overboard.

Starting with the invitations. Of course I had to custom make them with her sweet face on them, right? Duh. Well, and the Evite thing was out the door because some of my grandparents, etc. will be there, and you ask them to do the whole Evite thing is like asking your pet to send a text message. Say wha?

On to the food and drinks. I simply cannot just go pick up something easy for snacks and order a grocery store birthday cake now can I? No, because I am a ~~freak~~ excited to do this right I will be preparing all the food myself (which I will share post party with pics), and I've decided to go with cupcakes rather than an actual cake. But here's the ~~overdoing~~ details there, I'm having them catered by L's Cupcakes and I have ordered 8 dozen mini cupcakes in 4 different flavors, and one jumbo cupcake for B. It's important to be ~~excessive~~ prepared.
They are so cute and delicate! I'm sure all the men at the party will totally think they're ~~ridiculous~~ awesome.

Drinks. Must have the basics for my friends and family covered. Beer and wine, check.

Now, what to wear?

This was a tough one for me. I'm going for a hot mama look, with a lot of mobility and room for beer drinking when this is all over. Brooklyn has to be the bell of the ball right. So, cute black tutu it is, with a pink monogrammed tank top that is of course, being bedazzled! I can't show you yet because it's still being done, oh, and let's just tell my hubby that it all cost around $20.00, ok? Wink, wink.

Speaking of hubby, he has a little honey-do list himself that I have been ~~constantly~~ occasionally reminding him of:

Mow and trim the yard, including potting two new plants.
Clean back deck.
Move grill.
Order and pick up chairs.
Sweep garage.
Clean coolers.

You know, just a few things.

I've obsessed as to where we will put the presents, what to put on in the background (music or football), where to position the chairs, what time to do the cake, and on and on and on, which is why you all know now why said husband has frequently given me the look of death this week.

I can't explain why I feel the need to launch operation overboard, but it's my baby girl and it suits me. And I like it. And I'm the mom. It's what I do. I'm sure by year 2 and 3 it will be full blown Disney princesses (yawn), The Wiggles (shoot me now!), or Winnie the Pooh (I really hope not!), whatever she wants. But since she's too young to know or care, we're doing what Mama wants.

...and Mama wants, a PARTY.

Perspective, one year later.

2009-09-14T15:11:00.006-05:00

4 weeks after having a Brooklyn I posted about 10 lessons I had learned since she was born. A year later, I'd like to add some perspective to these observations:

1.) There is no such thing as 'quickly' changing a diaper. You must always have the changing pad and replacement diaper in hand, if you don't you will end up paying $37.41 to have your comforter dry cleaned.

One year later: Add bottle spills, sticky medicine, crumbs of food that were stuck to her...you just live with a dirty comforter until you are having a people over at which point you eat the $ and get it cleaned, again.

2.) You can't avoid spit up so don't try. Even if you cover yourself in burp cloths it will ultimately find the one piece of exposed clothing and land there.

One year later: Spit up goes away pretty quickly and really never amounted to much. Baby food was much messier.

3.) Babies know when you are trying to do the quiet and delicate lay down in there crib. The will immediately wake up no matter how hard you had them to sleep. Just put them down, save yourself the humiliation.

One year later: She can scream her brains out until she falls asleep, it's nap time or bed time when I say so.

4.) Designate specific pockets in the diaper bag for things. Diaper bags come with 100 different pockets, if you just throw your stuff in there it will take hours to find where you put the butt paste or pacifier, and you don't have time for searching. Very important lesson learned.

One year later: Lesson never learned as I am constantly looking through everything to find whatever the hell it is I'm looking for. I've got pretty good organization skills so therefore I blame Coach, for a cute, but not very functional product. Which is why I am about to switch products and order one from CSNbaby.com, they sell diaper bags to nursery furniture. Review to follow to see if in fact it's the bag, or the mom.

5.) Don't sit near the front of any restaurant. Everyone that comes in the door wants to look at your baby and talk to you. This is nice sometimes but when you're trying to enjoy a nice dinner with your hubby this causes way too many interuptions.

One year later: Still true and a good lesson. Especially as they get older you purposely want that not so obvious table so when they are hurling food at you or the floor it's not as embarassing.

6.) Don't bother putting socks on a baby, they always fall off and you end up with one of every pair.

One year later: True. And true for shoes too.

7.) Just take the photo.

One year later: TRUE. And my poor child endured some grueling photo shoots with me as the photographer. Like these,

8.) DVR things throughout the day so you have something to watch when you're up at 3:30 a.m. Paid programming gets old.

One year later: True, but thankfully paid programming isn't necessary by about month 4 I know, lucky me.

9.) You will always be late not matter how hard you try, so tell folks you'll be there 30 minutes after everyone else.

One year later: Nah, you get the routine down and it's definitely far less overwhelming to get anywhere. You get so good at packing up that you can even include the high chair, pack-n-play, leap frog sing along table, etc...with time to kill.

10.) You can blow dry your hair, put on make up, change clothes, make spaghetti, do dishes, laundry, and write your blog with just one hand.

One year later: TRUE and TRUE, because well, Mom's rule.

One year later I've got whole new list now, polishing it up then going to share. This one involves things like which brand of vodka gives you the quickest buzz, how to cope with family no longer paying attention to you, and shaking off the temper tantrum/full body scream of terror mid-grocery shop.

Who you'd be today...

2009-09-11T10:01:00.001-05:00

So, I'm a huge fan of Kenny Chesney. HUGE. I love him and I tell Dom all the time he's my country music boyfriend. His music, to me, is something I can make memories with, rock out to in my car, dance, and cry. Some of my friends make fun of me, and the sleeveless shirts he wears, but they can suck it.

He sings this song, "Who you'd be today" that references those that lost their lives too young, and on a day like today it plays over and over in my head.

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy...

I remember exactly where I was on 9/11, and what I did that day, and the church I went to that night surrounded by complete strangers all with their heads down in prayer and in tears. Kids instantly without parents, wives instantly widows, husbands single dads, brothers, sisters, friends, lost. I'm sure they were all wonderful people with amazing stories yet to be told. This is a day I will never forget, and I will always pay tribute to these heroes.

God bless them all, and their families, who I'm sure sit and wonder who they'd be today.

One year!

2009-09-08T11:05:00.002-05:00

Dear Brooklyn,

I started working on this letter to you awhile ago because I want it to be perfect. You know, because, You are perfect.

Today at 5:57 p.m. you are exactly 1 year old. Can you believe it? Me neither. Your very first birthday. I remember so many of your firsts, and luckily because I'm crazy, have 900 photos of them to reflect on.

You are the most beautiful daughter, with loving eyes and an independence I'm already proud of. In just one year you have accomplished so much. You are walking now, learning to communicate, eating the same food as mommy and daddy, building relationships with your school friends, touching your nose, building blocks, throwing little fits, loving to read, swim, dance, play with with puppies, climbing on our treadmill, going through my closet, cabinets, my purse, learning...and growing. Way to go girl, you are quite the accomplished one year old.

You have a sensitive side too, my favorite. You wake up sleepy and love to lay on my chest until you're ready to start your day. You see your blanket and you put your head on it immediately on daddy's shoulder. You give the best hugs, and open mouthed slobbery kisses. You seem to know when other people need a hug and almost always randomly give them one. You are strong, but soft. Stay that way for mommy, okay?

Daddy and I are so blessed to have you. We sit together and watch you constantly, commenting on how adorable you are or what kind of trouble you will give us when you're older. Your daddy still loves to sing to you, like he did from day 1, and he's still singing his made up version of Christmas songs. You love them, and almost always fall asleep to them. YOu still cover your head completely with your blanket, another thing you did from day 1. We were always waking up those first few weeks to check on you. Ah yes, those first few weeks and months. Mommy was blissfully happy, scared, and facscinated by you. I am still fascinated but you and I got our routine down now. You were so delicate, and were such a good newborn. You woke up a lot to eat those first couple of months but I didn't mind the mother/daughter time at 3:00 a.m. watching paid programming. You loved your swing, and eventually graduated to sitting in your bumbo chair, which was always placed on the kitchen counter so you could watch mommy cook. That little chair has been retired now, as you have obviously moved on to bigger and better things, like our treadmill and your singing table.

Just like your mommy and daddy, you love to travel. You were only six weeks old when you had your first road trip. We headed up to Abilene to see Uncle Richard play football. Thankfully, you slept the entire way there, and back. During the football game we bundled you all up in your pink polo jump suit and you lasted through the entire thing. Your Uncle Richard was so happy to meet you and you fell asleep on his big chest at the hotel room. When you were six months old we got your passport made and headed to Mexico. This is where you first discovered the swimming pool and had absolutely no fear for the water. Since then you've been back to the Texas beaches twice and love every minute of it. In June you took your first trip (well, technically 2nd because you were there when you were in my belly) to New York City. You rode in the airplanes, cabs, trains, on a bus, and the subway. You ate at our favorite Italion restaurant and made an awesome mess of spaghetti. You visited Central Park, Uncle Joe & Aunt Korine, Grandpa Johnny, ate in Chinatown and saw YOUR bridge. Don't worry, mommy has plenty of these pictures for you to see when you get older.

We look forward, and are grateful, for every memory yet to be made. You have given me absolute happiness and I love being your mama. Now if you could just work on saying 'Mama' for me I'd really appreciate it. You're great at saying ooooooooh, uh-oh, dada, and can almost immitate a rooster. But no 'mama' yet, I bet it's next.

Happy Birthday sweet girl, we love you angel.

Winner

2009-09-04T11:26:00.002-05:00

Ah yes, it's FRIDAY. And, on top of that we have a 3 day weekend. Aw, yeah. Time to celebrate.

Except I can't, and here is why:

Hopped in the car this morning (parked in the garage), opened the garage door, put it in reverse, hit the accelerator and BAM!

Shit shit shit shit shit! Dom's car is in the driveway. Shoot me now.

Our driveway is such that you have to back out and turn immediately to the right to go down the f***ing hill. This stupid driveway and I fight constantly as I often reverse, turn, but not enough, put the car back in drive, accelerate, back in reverse, turn, etc...

It hates me.

When Dom is not parked in the driveway I can back all the way out and go down facing forward, so therefore, it is his fault for not parking in the garage. Except he never parks in the garage. Damn.

Excuse number 2, he usually leaves before me. Lame, I am clearly out of it. Yesterday I forgot to leave B's carseat at school, I gave someone my debit card when they asked for my driver license, AND I left my groceries at the self checkout. WTF is going on! Clearly I need to meditate, sleep, or just sedate myself with wine this entire weekend.

So, here's to $1000 deductible ($500 per car), and to me being a WINNER!

Success

2009-09-02T08:45:00.008-05:00

We did this for about an hour last night. Pick up a block, stack a block, stack another block, knock it down. Clap clap, yay Brooklyn!

At one point she was concentrating so intently on stacking that she started breathing harder. Adorable.

After a long day there is nothing more peaceful than this to come home to. I often tell myself, and you, how it's important to keep things in perspective but we move at such a fast pace it's so easy for our minds to clutter with life. After my cousin passed away I thought FOR SURE I'd have a handle on it, but only two weeks later I am wrapped up with work, with being healthy, having mental arguements about working out, planning schedules, cleaning house, updating my blog!, blah blah blah. None of which is bad, but time consuming.

Then as I'm laying on our living room rug last night playing with Brooklyn it suddenly dawns on me that I'm having a moment with her. She has never been able to stack these blocks on her own, but now she can. One of her little obstacles overcome. It was awesome for both me, and Dom, to just sit back, stop thinking, and watch her grow. A memory made, a very big success.

Are you ready for some football?!?!?

2009-08-28T13:51:00.007-05:00

For the 10 of you that follow me that are not family or friends I need to let you in on a little secret.

My brother is a bad ass.
He plays DII football for Abilene Christian University, and they too, are bad ass. Last night they played Northwest Missouri, ranked #2 in the nation, Abilene ranks #5,and they beat them 19 - 14. What this means in my household:

Nerves.
Purple ACU t-shirt on.
Lots of cursing and then cheering.
A cold beer.
Jumping on and off the couch.
Hi-fives.
More cold beer.
Grilling.
More cursing, following by more cheering.
Excessive text messaging.
Hitting the pillow and CRASHing from all the suspense.

I love football season and I'm my brothers biggest fan. For those of you DYING to start following ACU, he's #29.

GO WILDCATS!!!

Full Circle

2009-08-26T09:14:00.004-05:00

This morning I was getting ready in my bathroom with my little one playing on the floor. Entertainment for her consisted of pulling everything out from underneath the cabinet which includes: a box of panty liners and tampons (which then get thrown like large pieces of confetti), sunscreen, various facial masks, boxes of soap, cotton balls, lotion bottles, hairbands, and bath salt. That was the inventory list this morning. And as I sit there blow drying my hair, watching her destroy my bathroom, my mind drifts to "this time last year..."

I was fat. I was hot. I was pregnant.

I was off work at this point, as I think I left around August 16th, her due date being September 4th. I remember EVERYONE telling me to sit, relax, and just enjoy the downtime because "oh my gosh how things are going to change for you!!!" Bleh, whatever. I tried, I really did, but it's hard to relax when you are continuously trying to understand the magic behind pushing something the size of a bowling ball out of your vagina. Ughhh. I watched hours and hours of A Baby Story, Birth Day, etc...a and cringed and cried during each episode. My husband would come home from work, walk in the door and look at me as if to say, "okay I love you, but you are borderline pathetic." I would always pause my day for lunch, meet girlfriends or Dom, and enjoyed getting out for a bit, but do so vividly remember how the clock just ticked ever so slowly in the days leading up to her birth. I would lay on the couch and play out how it would all go down. Would my water break in public, we run home, sprint in the house, grab our bags, and head to the hospital like it happens on the movies? Would I be home, wake up with contractions, or would I have to be induced? I played out every scenario over and over. I ate spicy things, had sex, walked the stairs a million times, did jumping jacks, everything but drink castor oil...although if it was guaranteed I was in.

This time last year...I had 13 more days before I met my beautiful baby girl who changed my life forever. Who now, a year later, is redecorating my bathroom with feminine products.

What were you up to this time last year?

Silver linings

2009-08-24T09:37:00.002-05:00

We've made it through the last week. The visitation was sad, the funeral was sad, but beautiful, and her burial was sad. We did our best to celebrate her life, but taken on such short notice at such a young age, it's hard to find the immediate happiness. My Aunt and Uncle have a long road ahead but they are surrounded by some amazing support. I guess there is some silver lining in all of this, and that is people. It's been humbling to see the outpour of support. Perfect strangers that heard of this tragedy stepping up and offering to clean their house, cook food for the next several weeks, take care of their ranch. The abundance of beautiful flowers that were sent for Lena was breathtaking. Everywhere you looked was another bouquet, sent from all over the country. People made photo montages, programs, wrote things in honor of Lena. The line of cars from the church to the burial was as far as you can see. Strangers pulled over on the side of the road as cars passed took their hats off, bowed their heads, put their hand up to their windows as if to say, "I'm sorry." Friends of friends showed up at the ranch for after the service to help with the serving of food, cleaning, all the little things. My immediate family has received so much support as well, text messages, emails, phone calls. So, thank you everyone for thinking of us and keeping Larry, Lisa, and Lena in your thoughts and prayers.

I have found what peace I can in all of this, and will hug my baby, and those I love, tighter every single day. A new found perspective on the choices I make and how I choose to live. I will aspire to be as radiant and loving as little Lena was.

Good night Lena, rest in peace sweet baby.

Standing still

2009-08-21T13:37:00.000-05:00

At 3:00 today my uncle will hold his daughters hand and say goodbye. The accident was so terrible that they won't let him see her in full, but they are letting him hold her hand. His final moments, with his daughter...to talk, to cry, to cherish.

Time will stand still.

But time doesn't stand still does it? It goes, it's constant and it keeps going. Just like life. I remember when Brooklyn first came home from the hospital and I had to take her to the pediatrician. We were fortunate to have a doctor that was literally 2 minutes from our house but I was TERRIFIED. I wanted police to block off the road as I passed through, stopping traffic and waving us along. But, they didn't. Everything was moving around me, life was going on.

I imagine that is how my Aunt and Uncle feel, frozen. Still. Timeless. Looking around and seeing people continue their lives, enjoying themselves, eating, drinking, talking, laughing, LIVING. I would think you would want to scream at them to stop. Lena is dead and we need to all stop. But you don't.

Time will stand still today at 3:00. Tonight at 6:00, and tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m., when we bury her in the ground, next to my grandfather.

Death.

2009-08-18T16:01:00.007-05:00

My baby cousin, Lena, died today. This morning. Left her house full of life and isn't coming home. She was killed in a car accident, her mom was driving, and we are forever changed.

No one can prepare you for these phone calls, but they are, what every person dreads. She was 4 years old. New to this world. Just getting started on her own journey. She was beautiful, full of life, and I have wonderful memories of her tromping around in her red cowboy boots.

I was 10 minutes away from leaving my house to get my hair done. Getting ready for that new job, and mom called me to break the news. My dad is a mess. We are all a mess. I know that these things happen all the time, but when they happen so close to home it is hard to process. I go up, I go down. I cry. I'm fine. I cry again. I think of her funeral, her tiny coffin, I cry more. When old people die you understand it more, you accept it. I can't accept this. Not yet. It hits me hard now having Brooklyn. I had to take her into daycare for a couple of hours because looking at her was hard. You would think it would be the opposite but in the very moments of knowing Lena was gone it wasn't. Brooklyn wanted me to read 'No more monkeys jumping on the bed...' and all I could do was think of Lisa reading that to her baby girl.

I'll hug her tightly tonight though, more than ever.

I know we never know why these things happen, they just do. Eventually we will move on from it but in these very moments nothing else matters but remembering Lena and being there for my family. I dread the next few days...

Dearest Lena, you were a beautiful girl, we will remember you forever, and love you always.

Winds of change (part II)

2009-08-18T09:22:00.006-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I posted about how I could just feel some change on our horizon. Turns out, I was RIGHT.

I GOT A NEW M***** F****** JOB!!!

I have honestly been looking for awhile, but you know these things take time. Oh, and in case no one told you, the market sucks. Oh, and Michael Jackson died.

I start my new opportunity Wednesday and I am really looking forward to it. I can't post too much about it because the Senior HR guru, Kim, is following this blog.

Hi Kim! ;)

And, last post I highlighted a change in my little one that helped keep it all in perspective as at the time everything was a bit overwhelming. Update - she's taking up to 10 - 15 steps now.

As if that wasn't enough change for yer mama girl is starting to dance.

"Shake your moneymaker..."

All the single ladies (and gents) ...

2009-08-12T21:46:00.007-05:00

with kids. Props. Seriously. PROPS to you.

Dom caught a 6:00 a.m. flight on sunday to NYC. He's crazy like that, the 6:00 a.m. flights. He thinks that is when you have your best shot at making it to your destination on time. He's right. Last year when I was prego with B and we flew there I whined about booking a later flight. So, because I was prego and ruled the house at the time we did, and we got to shop at the Houston airport for oh, about 8 hours. No argument on that one. Honey, you were RIGHT. (OMG I said it outloud!)

So it's been the stinker and I since Sunday and it's been awesome. I love spending 1:1 time with her, watching her grow, discover, and express herself. She is literally changing by the moment. I have learned this week that she loves to dance, sways back and forth and bounces to music. So f'ing cute! She also now can understand me when I ask her to go get another book from her toy bin. She waddles over there, peruses the options, makes a selection, and walks towards me holding the book in front of her, and she's proud. I'm proud.

She also eats a lot, and is messy. Messy = more cleaning. She hasn't slept great this week due to a cough so we're tired. Oh, then the diapers, and bath time, getting ready for school, playtime, climbing on our treadmill, and getting into everything she shouldn't be. It's constant.

Do not misinterpret that in the sense that I don't want to be doing it, it's just so nice to have a teammate, and my husband is a great teammate. I am ready for him to be home so I can sit my ass down when its his turn. Not to mention I have concluded that while I like some alone time, I LOVE his presence, our conversation, and his head next to mine every night.

So, to all you single parents out there, you are ROCKSTARS and my new HEROES.

Come home "DA-DA!"

Fork.

2009-08-10T13:25:00.004-05:00

Fork in the road...

In life.

Many times the path we find ourselves on is almost forced. It is just the way it was supposed to be. Reflecting back I can't say I have been standing at the decision making point and been more indecisive than I am now.

Life 'fork' I am facing now:

To have another kid, or to stay with an only child? (I do realize all things that need to align between now and 9 or so months). But, do we try?

What Brooklyn has brought to my life is something that I have only heard others describe but never felt, until now. Crazy amounts of pride, happiness, excitement, laughs, tears, fear, anxiety, responsibility...list goes on and on. I often say she is the best thing I have done with my life so far. I love that little face.

Rewind pre-Brooklyn and Dom and I were, and still very much are, ACTIVE. We love to travel, eat at new restaurants, meet friends for drinks, catch movies, have BBQ's, just LIVE. Even now we are both very good about giving each other the time to ourselves, with friends, being social, and then bringing Brooklyn along where we can. This past weekend we survived a CRAZY beach trip with the most amazing, CRAZY friends. We managed to be adults and parents all in one weekend. I love it. I love being surrounded by our friends and family, often, and I love to get Brooklyn out there. Girl already has a passport. Awesome.

I also have a career. I work, and I like it. I thrive at being good at what I do, and while I sometimes don't always love the schedule it's what I do. I struggle though with the thought of someone else watching my baby 40+ hours a week but I know I am her MOTHER. And, I work to give her the things I want to give her. To teach her things, take her places, provide for her.

I realize some people don't even get to make this choice, so in recognizing that I can say that I am very grateful.

But how much does one more kiddo change things?

What I can't seem to wrap my head around is Brooklyn being alone through her childhood. No brother or sister to run down the stairs Christmas morning screaming "SANTA CAME!!!" Taking vacations, no one to snuggle in bed next to her full of excitement for the journies ahead. No one to call and bitch about mom and dad to. I have two brothers and we are extremely close, they mean everything to me. No one to compete with her, no one for her to protect and be big sister to, it all just seems so lonely. But, that being said too I know plenty of people that have one child and they are doing just fine.

We're at that fork in the road. I know that I'll make the right choice, or as most things in life, with faith it will get made for me. Definitely looking for a sign...

T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

2009-08-05T20:52:00.011-05:00

This is one of my best friends, KQ:
She is, to me, the total package of a friend. She's beautiful, smart, hilarious, LOUD, not afraid to get in your face, will stab a bitch if she needs to, all around awesome girl. We've done smart things together, like running big accounts at our previous job. We've done stupid things together, like her teaching me to drive a stick shift in my neighborhood AFTER happy hour. Yes, stupid. We've done everything in between.

These are our daughters:

We know what we are capable of, but we have no idea what these two have in store for us.

At least we know we will be there to pour the other another glass of that mama ~~vodka~~ juice.

"Oink, oink"

2009-08-04T09:51:00.003-05:00

Bad mom moment #(whose counting anyway). Dressed my daughter in a onesie we got at my baby shower. You know the one you DEFINITELY didn't register for, but someone thought it was cute anyway. I have a sense of style, and if we are going anywhere with Brooklyn I make sure she does too. But, around the house, eh, who cares.

She cares.
If you look closely the front has a pig on it, and the back - THE BACK! - it has a tail and says 'oink, oink.'

Ahahahaha.

Traumatic.

And now, looking back, I suppose I would have cried my ass off too. Putting any female in ANYTHING that has 'oink, oink' on your ASS is a straight ticket to see a shrink.

Sorry binker, won't happen again! ;)

Winds of change...

2009-07-28T21:23:00.007-05:00

Ever feel like things are just in sync, moving, working, rhythm is good, satisfying my control freak needs, feeling the flow, then BAM!!! Change of pace.

That has been our lives the last three weeks and on into [insert big black hole.]

House stuff, family stuff, friends stuff, general stuff, etc...stuff. We’ve had a lot of after work commitments to fulfill, lots of them social so definitely not a bad thing but before you know it it’s Thursday and you have yet to sit for half an hour on your couch that you love so much and you quickly reflect on the days gone by where all you did was suck couch. Sigh. Weekend is right around the corner and the stuff picks right back up.

Dom and I have both have had pretty intense work schedules right now too, Chicago, Detroit, me – Dallas. Oh, yes, let’s pause on that one.

I was scheduled to leave for Dallas Thursday morning for work meetings, coming home Friday morning. It wasn’t required to stay overnight but my brother lives there right now while doing an internship. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to visit the liquor bottle decorated, office chair for furniture, bachelor pad, home sweet dump that he has. I’m actually SUPER proud of him, but I do love what straight guys do to the place. Rewind again to Thursday at about 1:35 a.m., Brooklyn is stirring, baby monitor is LOUD AND CLEAR GET THE F*** UP screaming at you. My turn, I went upstairs to check on her and she’s sitting in her crib, stares at me, and pukes. I alluded to this puke in my previous post. Yeah....let me know if there are any tricks out there to direct a 10 month old on how to puke in ‘appropriate’ places. 5 hours later and I’m in the shower trying to figure out how in the hell I could do this drive to Dallas on 3 hours sleep. Easy – caffeine.

Fast forward to Friday night, I puke. Saturday, Dom pukes.

Awesome.

All good now, everyone is back to normal.

I just have that sense of change, not sure what it is, but it’s there. It’s progress at it’s best, life in motion. Dom is heading back to New York in August, going to the beach this weekend, various opportunities on the horizon. Just change. All of that, though, suddenly went into perspective for me though the other day when my baby girl demonstrated change to me more than anything. In the midst of craziness she pulls her attempt to walk. Jaws drop, freeze in place, “BABE!!! OMG!!! LOOK!!!!.” Four steps, crash. Couldn’t believe it and literally paused life to just watch HER. Such adorable innocence and determination. Her winds of change, blowing wild and free.

In that moment, all mine stood still.

(If anyone knows of video rotating software that is trustworthy, please let me know.)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2009-07-25T10:31:00.003-05:00

My blog has been sound asleep this week as it has been CRAZY busy. Work is nuts, Brooklyn got really sick, I got sick, now Dom is getting sick. I've learned this week timing is everything. More to come when I'm done cleaning puke up....

Hope everyone elses's week/weekends are going good, can't wait to catch up on all the posts I've missed this week!

Shop 'til you drop!

2009-07-19T17:56:00.003-05:00

Self control?

2009-07-17T11:14:00.003-05:00

I had no intention of blogging right now, but they are staring at me. The chocolate covered raisins on my desk. I can't control myself either, little mother f'ers are too enticing! So, I pick up another handful, and make them the honorary guests of this post.

I bought them, so I am the one to blame, but where the hell is the self control? Clearly, I have none when it comes to certain things. I had breakfast and a LARGE coffee already today. I have lunch plans at noon. I have no self control.

Other things that win this battle:

Queso. Large consumptions.
Chips and salsa.
7 layer dip.
Junior Mints.
Veal Parmesan from La Mela's.
Peanut butter granola bars.
Ranch dressing.
Crab legs and butter sauce. YUMMY.
Wasabi peas. Random, but damn good.
Cashews
My dad's BBQ pork ribs!

I'm sure my list is much longer but I think that's all I care to reveal for now. I do try to balance out, control myself, with enough servings of low fat, healthiness, but every once in awhile damnit I love losing self control.

Guilty food pleasures anyone?

My husband, the designer.

2009-07-15T14:22:00.006-05:00

Please observe my husbands latest addition to our household - the perfect pull up bar. This beauty now ~~lives~~ sits on the doorway of our MASTER bedroom. Looks great with our living room furniture, don't you think?

Lucky me! ;)

Oh what a night!

2009-07-13T11:39:00.004-05:00

Had a wonderful weekend. Managed to relax, be productive, and party.

Saturday night we got a babysitter and headed out for our friend Brian's bday. Started with martini's at Peche, apps & more drinks at Saba, then off to Kiss & Fly for ... guess what? More drinks. Mama was feeling no pain...

I am so grateful for good friends, life would not be what it is without them. It was fun for Dom and I to have date night too. We hadn't been out downtown together in awhile so it was fun to reminisce at some of our old spots, pre-baby. The night ended in classic fashion too, he and I stopped for taquito's at Whataburger. You know it's been a good one when you are sitting on your kitchen counter scarfing down potatoe, egg, & cheese at 2:00 a.m.

Happy Birthday Brian! We love you.

10 months

2009-07-09T18:51:00.002-05:00

In the midst of being reminded about what I was reminded (last post) about I forgot to REMIND myself that my baby girl turned 10 months old yesterday!

OMG

For the millionth time I am going to state again, time flies. I don't remember days EVER going this quickly when I was a kid, or even in college - determining what pool we were going to lay out at after we got our Sonic drinks seemed to drag out forever. That never flew by. WTF, life? Why do you seem to go so much faster now!

A 10 month old no longer sits still for my camera. I had to chase her little ass around to get a photo that included her in it...
Happy 10 months baby girl! Every month that passes you show me how I can love you even more.

Reminded.

2009-07-08T10:56:00.006-05:00

Thank you friends for your suggestions on Monday. I have started with little things, picking my workouts back up, reading a book, and just re-focusing altogether.

I have been reminded though, this week, to be nothing but thankful. Here is why:

Monday night Dad called me and asked to help him send my mom flowers. His job requires him to work out of town for weeks at a time, and my mom is an empty nester getting by with her two dogs and beta fish. I talk to her a lot, and she holds up pretty well but I know she had a little breakdown Sunday night all alone. We got the flowers ordered and she had a great day. But I am reminded, I am not alone.

A blogworld friend at OceanDreams tagged me in a photo contest a couple of weeks back, but between traveling and getting back into the swing of things I forgot all about it. Here are the rules:

* Open my first photo folder

* Scroll down to the 10th photo

* Post that photo and story on my blog

* Tag five friends to do the same

Here is my photo:

This is from when we went to visit my youngest brother play football last fall at ACU. Brooklyn was just a tiny little pup and it was one of the first times my entire family was together since she had been born. The whole crew was there, even Uncle Rob, who is holding her in this picture. The weekend was an awesome memory and this again reminds me to appreciate my family and all their love and support. I was, and obviously still am, SO proud of my little one so sharing her with my brothers is AWESOME.

Lastly, I read the Spohr's blog every day. Sometimes I tell myself not to because it often ends in me tearing up before my next work meeting, but I can't help it. It has forever changed my life and serves as a CONSTANT reminder to just enjoy your days and be grateful. I often think about Heather when I sometimes am losing my patience with Brooklyn, am overtired, overwhelmed, whatever it is...I stop and I think of her and I change my path. I hate that because of her loss I am reminded.

Sticking with my theme, I am reminded now that I must tag 5 friends to carry on the photo stories...have fun!

Courtney@ State of .... where was I again?

Kelly@ a little messed up...it's kelly

Juanita@ The Edward's Corner

Steph@ The Powells

Brian@ Matheny's

Monday Funday

2009-07-06T13:36:00.001-05:00

Back to the grind this week, and for some reason today I am seriously needing some motivation. I sound a bit crazy because things have been great, and I'm so ever grateful for the love and happiness I have felt pouring into my life. We had an awesome 4th of July celebrating with friends & family, cold beer, and fireworks.

I don't what it is though, I feel I am in a personal slump in being creative, inspired, and motivated. This probably applies to me professionally more than anything, so I'm looking for some motivators out there.

Having a job is motivation enough, in this economy, I do realize. Maybe I just need to paint something (not that I paint), do something creative, recharge those juices. Dom suggests something else, the thing that most men would recommend when needing a release. ;) Too personal for you, sorry... but while I appreciate his suggestion, this is different. I want to listen to some good music, watch an inspiring movie, and do a good deed. Volunteer perhaps?

What do you kids do to get that energy flowing again?

Back to life, back to reality...

2009-07-02T11:30:00.010-05:00

Sigh, vacation.

Over. Done. Back to reality.

BUT, it was wonderful. Romantic, beautiful, fun, and the type that when you are packing that last day you are sad. Not ready to go home.

We spent a few days out on the Island and visited Dom's family. Went to see the Mets play at the new field, and you wouldn't believe it - but, they WON. Awesome. And we ate yummy ribs and Brooklyn had ice cream. Even more awesome.

Dom and I went into the city on Friday for our ceremony while Brooklyn stayed behind with her Aunt & Uncle. It was beautiful. Romantic, simple, perfect, and the weather held up. It had been raining literally every day in June but for some reason on 6/26 the sky parted and the sun showed her face. Amen. After we said "I do" we went to the boathouse for some champagne, such a peaceful moment for the both of us. Husband and wife, finally. Amen again. The rest of our day was just as wonderful, dinner, a play, a rooftop bar to end the night. I just made one of my best memories.The rest of the trip was amazing too. Brooklyn came into the city on Saturday, we had lunch at our favorite spot and she LOVED to eat pasta with her daddy. Spent lots of time in Central Park, visited her bridge, Chinatown, just really soaked it all in. We walked as much as possible but was truly impressed at my little one's ability to handle planes, trains, buses, taxi's, her stroller. The plane ride home I had that baby - the one that is done sitting still, does not understand why we are not moving, SCREAMING, and TIRED. I just look at everyone and want to tell them she is only expressing loudly how you are all feeling now that we have been taxi'ing on the runway for over half an hour. So suck it.

You can suck it too, reality. Although I must get back to you now.

Leaving, on a jet plane...

2009-06-22T15:24:00.008-05:00

Tommorow morning at 6:15 A.M. we are headed to NYC! So symbolic of our life, our relationship. Being from New York Dom makes the city feel small, and warm, and cozy. I like to pretend I'm a local even, in the morning at the Diner I play along in my mind this is my morning routine.

We fell in love in NYC.
We found out we were pregnant New Year's Eve 2007 in NYC.

We've been to all museums, love Central Park, Chinatown, we eat at the same Italian restaurant on Mulberry St. each time we go.

We've been there 6 times in three years, this will be 7.
We named our child Brooklyn.
Obsessed much.
Yes.

I can't wait for this particular trip though, this one is far more special than all of the others. You see, Dom and I did everything a bit different. We both ended relationships to be together, bought a house, then had a baby, and now, getting married. Friday at noon in Central Park. Just the two of us, simple, and perfect.

It has been a long road for the both of us, but we couldn't be more ready. It's not about the bells and whistles and look at me and my fabulous wedding, it's just us and our vows.

My little world traveler will be there too, but not on Friday. She's staying with her Aunt and Uncle so we can have one day/night to ourselves in the city. Dinner planned and Wicked that night. So romantic and so us. But, I can't wait to have her there in the city, the lights, the noise, the people. She was there last May, just wasn't quite ready to experience yet...

I'll be thinking of all of you as I'm sipping champagne, taking it all in. Okay, I won't be thinking of you at all actually, but I will be sipping champagne.

Cheers!

Me, Myself, & I

2009-06-19T14:40:00.005-05:00

(Everything with B's tubes went great - super fast, easy, nothing to be scared about! Thanks for the well wishes!)

Remember long ago in Facebook land a trendy, yet annoying, little thing called 25 things was going around? Yeap, jumped on band wagon.

I'm making some new friends here in Blog land and I'm a little boring today so I thought I'd plagerize my own work and post it here. I must love myself.

Here goes it...

1.) My friends tell me I am a picky eater but I think they are crazy. I just don't like onions, or lettuce on sandwiches. I don't like pineapples, or oranges. I only like mayo and tomatoe on a cheeseburger and think blue cheese on anything is disgusting. That's not picky, just eating in good taste.

2.) I always seem to run low on wiper fluid in my car. It beeps at me to refill constantly. Maybe I am obsessed with clean windshields.

3.) I own over 50 pairs of shoes.

4.) At one point in my life I thought a spiral perm was hot.

5.) I always yell at Dom when he drives the car. Therefore, I drive almost all the time.

6.) When I was in 5th grade I choreographed a dance to "Opposites Attract" by Paula Abdul and sold tickets to my parents and neighborhood friends to come see my show.

7.) I'm too chicken to get up and do Kareoke but will sing LOUDLY to every song as others perform.

8.) I love to travel - so far on my list is Mexico, Italy, Greece, Turkey, and Egypt. I've been to many places in the US and can't get enough of NYC. Can't wait to get to back to Europe.

9.) I craved anything blueberry and diet root beer when I was pregnant.

10.) I think girl time is essential.

11.) I believe people should have good manners. Table manners especially. If you chew with your mouth open or smack loudly I will most definitely let you know it's rude and annoying.

12.) I was raised to be tough. I once took a softball to the mouth when I had braces. My dad looked at my mouth full of blood, carefully seperated inside of my mouth from bracket and told me to get back out on the field.

13.) I have grown up around hunting and fishing my whole life. I was 2 years old when I sat in my first deer stand. When my brothers are home there is almost always something dead in my parents backyard.

14.) I volunteered at Brackenridge Children's hospital for one summer while in college and will never forget that experience. One of the days I was there my only responsibility was to hold a newborn that had been abandoned. I was her form of human touch that day and for that I am forever grateful. I wish I could find her mother and punch her in the face, but then again, I'm sure it was a blessing.

15.) In college my roomate and I got a Sonic drink almost every day.

16.) Said roommate mentioned in #15 and I got a note on our door once that said "Shut the F*** up" for always talking so loudly on our cell phones on the back deck of our townhome.

17.) My first concert was Debbie Gibson, followed shortly after by New Kids on the Block.

18.) 2006 was a shitty year for me.

19.) My brothers and I are very close. That's not to say I've completely forgiven them when they threw a screwdriver at me or put dead bugs outside my door.

20.) I love a fire in the fireplace.

21.) I think floating the river with good friends, cold beer, and hot sun is the best "day" vacation.

22.) You must have a good sense of humor to be my friend. People that are too serious bore me.

23.) I love Broadway plays. When in NYC we almost always pick one night to get dressed up, go to a nice dinner, and a play. The absolute perfect date.

24.) September 8, 2008 I became a mom. I have made a vow to myself to raise my daughter with manners, to teach her to respect her elders, to work hard for what she wants, to appreciate things, to have perspective, do everything in moderation, and to pursue her happiness. I promise I will try not to contribute to the pool of next generations that think MTV news is news.

25.) I am happy.

25 things about you? Do share...

Tubes.

2009-06-17T11:38:00.008-05:00

Ever since Brooklyn started going to her school she has been getting ear infections. One, after the other, after the other. I think in the last 5 months she's had at least 6. The very first one she got she ran a fever of about 104, Dom and I had her in the tub at 2:00 a.m. trying to cool her down. I hated it.

I hate giving her medicine. Can't they come up with something other than a plastic dropper I have to shove in her mouth, holding her head still, arms down while she lashes back and forth, crying. Ugh, it sucks. Dom is a wimp too (honey if you are reading this you know you are!) so I almost always am the bad guy and give her the meds. It's what we women do. I've been a good mama too, finishing the antibiotics down to the last drop. If I'm ever sick I'm terrible about doing that, I just take them until I feel better then get lazy.

Her last ear infection was last Sunday, driving home from the beach we looked at her eyes and just knew she's getting sick. Keep in mind she had only been off antibiotics since the Thursday before. We didn't even come home first, we just pulled into an after hours clinic and waited for 2 hours. This visit she got a shot in the leg and an amped up antibiotic that was only a 5 day treatment. That shot was the worst ever. Again, Dom left the room for that and I stood there over her. Seriously, men. Now we know why women were chosen to carry the child and BIRTH them.

We had already set up an appointment with an ENT prior to her last infection. We met him yesterday and he looked at her for about 2 minutes and said, yeah, tubes. She gets them put in tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m.

While I know this is a minor procedure my baby still has to go under for a bit. Scares the shit out of me, and I'm allowed to be since it's my first time. It's supposed to be short and sweet so let's hope so. The outcome of this is most important, my smiling baby will be smiling even more. Wish us luck!

I suck at sewing, but maybe you don't...

2009-06-15T13:00:00.005-05:00

I always aspire to be apart of something good, something bigger than you and me. My friend Jade, over at ChikAustin has done just that with her love inspired project, Craft Hope.

Jade and I are friends primarily through blog world, and Facebook. I work with her hubby and we have met a few times, she rocks. She has two beautiful children, a 3rd on the way, and is full of life and giving back.

She makes me insanely jealous with her craftiness!

I may have put together a scrap book page now and then, ooohh, and I did paint the letters in Brooklyn's room, but that is about as crafty as I get. I have never picked up a needle and thread, if a button falls off of anything I'm screwed and it goes in the trash. Domestic Diva...hardly. But this is not about me, this about you and all of the creativity and mad sewing skills you probably have.

Craft Hope just announced their third project, below is a bit from Jade:

The children in Mexico are wearing their handmade dresses. The dolls will soon be heading to Nicaragua. Craft Hope is crossing borders to make a difference. Spreading seeds of hope one stitch at a time. I am so proud to announce that project 3 is going all of the way to India! For this project, Craft Hope has partnered with the Miracle Foundation to supply blankets, booties and beanies for newborns.

If you sew, or know someone that does join Jade in her mission. Craft Hope's tagline is 'spreading seeds of hope one stitch at a time.' Consider me a virtual stitch, from her to you.

Sign up and sew!

That's mine.

2009-06-13T10:47:00.005-05:00

When Brooklyn was born I got to stay home for 4 months. I loved being home with her, and after the freak out phase in the beginning we grew into a routine that was fantastic. Yeah I was up at least once or twice throughout the night, but it didn't matter because I had the day to figure out what we wanted to do. We'd go shopping, meet friends for lunch, take care of our house, grocery shop, laundry, and cook dinner before Daddy got home. She'd sit in her swing, or Bumbo chair and it was our girl time. I loved it.

After Christmas it was time to go back to work. I was okay with that though because as much as I loved being a stay at home mom for those few months I was ready to get back. Well, as ready as one can be I guess. I love her school, the staff is awesome and they make you feel very comfortable. They have web cams too so I can see her whenever I want to. The first day I logged in I literally got nothing done because I kept watching her. It was so strange to watch her interact with other babies, her teachers, and I'm watching from my office - miles away...

Just recently they sent home a CD with pictures and video of Brooklyn. While very thoughtful and sweet, it was so strange to look at these pictures I didn't take, these moments I didn't see, and these "firsts". This video is from when Brooklyn first started standing in her crib. Watching her made me so sad, because I didn't get to be there one that saw it the FIRST time.

Yeah, yeah, woe is me huh? NO one else could possibly be going through this same thing. ;) Suck it up, right? And I can, and will, and as we go throughout our days everything is just as it's supposed to be. But it does tug at my heart every once in awhile knowing that my baby is growing up so fast and someone else besides me is seeing it too.

My beach baby.

2009-06-10T19:16:00.007-05:00

We went to the beach last weekend with friends. I sort of had one of those come full circle moments as I was with my girlfriend and her family. Same girlfriend that I was at the beach with in college, big decision of the day was determing exactly what time we would pop that first Corona. This time, families in tow, I was so excited to take Brooklyn as this was something I did every summer as a kiddo and loved it. Note: ignore the brownish blue water and semi-sand, we live in Texas and this is what we get. Deal.

She loved it, every minute of it, and even though she was the runt of the group she held her own. See all those white specs of shells in the sand? Those might as well have been crackers because each and every one she could get her tiny little fingers on she tried to eat. Sharp edge, dirty, way to go mom of the year.

Where the water hit the sand, however, we were good to go. Splash, splash more, kick at the waves breaking on her little feet. A whole new world.

At one point we had her in her 'boat' in the water. Sharks, jellyfish potentially feet away - another mom of the year moment, but again, I remember playing in the water for hours, and I cherish those moments.
We plan on going again at the end of the summer, although I may leave her with grandma as this is much more rowdy crowd. Circa 1998 type of crowd referenced above. The type where I could potentially drink so much that I myself will start thinking the shells are crackers.

Yay summertime.

Blogiversary

2009-06-09T10:30:00.007-05:00

Hard to believe, but yep, been blogging for a year now. It's been a year actually on June 4th, but in typical anniversary fashion I missed it. I took a moment to reflect on my first post, about a $22.00 sandwich, my pregnancy posts, when will Brooklyn get here posts, new mom days, and then some...

My dad still doesn't understand the purpose of it, my mom reads it (some), my brothers do when I tell them to, and my whole reason behind it was so that family could keep up with Brooklyn. Ha! :) My online poker playing grandmother is a follower though - Hi Nana!, and I am nothing but impressed that she is.

I'll keep it up though, if nothing else it provides sanity checks for me when I sit down and just write about whatever the hell I want to, when I want to. It's been inspiring too, to read about other peoples experiences, journeys, ups and downs. I laugh a lot, have cried too, and just enjoy knowing that I'm not going crazy. Or if I am, so are you.

Happy Blogiversary to me, off to celebrate with a Diet DP out of the vending machine. Cheers!

Orange CRUSH

2009-06-04T11:18:00.006-05:00

I'm no organic hippie, not yet anyway, but I am working every day to eat healthier. It's a lifestyle change - BUT - there are just some things I will never give up. NEVER!

If I could take three things with me to a deserted island to survive one of them would be ranch dressing. Name one thing you can't dip in ranch that isn't good? Name it. Can't, can you? Survival mechanism #1.

Cheese - #2

Coors light - #3

What? There a fruits and veggies on the island.

I do find myself buying more fruits and veggies than ever before so I know we are on the right track. Not quite perusing the Whole Foods isles yet, but that is out of mere intimidation - "What is that?...huh...wtf does that say...is that real food?"

It's all REALLY changed for me now that Brooklyn is eating BIG people food. I want her to be a healthy child, eating fruits and veggies, but I can't deny her the sugar rushes either can I? So, we are compromising. She gets to play with, and eat, a chocolate covered donut on Saturday morning, and an occasional popsicle. When she gets older I'll be all about the funnel cake at the carnival, cotton candy, etc...but I'm shooting for balance. The rest of the week we are trying other things, rice cakes, peaches, yogurt, etc...and just recently, Oranges. I have never seen this child eat anything like she can eat an orange. Devours it. Juice everywhere, one big sticky mess. Awesomeness.